I hope I am not proving how crazy I am by trying to be a little more transparent here. I know I'm nutty, but that's beside the point!
Lately I have been feeling very "blah". You know the feeling, nothing exciting happening in life, feeling tired and weighed down by the stress of the holidays, being broke because of the holidays, etc.
When I was a little girl December was such a magical time. My birthday started things off and then it ended with Christmas and New Years. Back when I believed in Santa and the reindeer and the whole nine yards things seemed so much more wonderful.
This year I officially feel old. I decided that in an attempt to keep the magic of Christmas alive for my niece and nephew I would also have a stuffed stocking waiting for me on Christmas morning. But my parents aren't there to fill it at our house, so I'll buy things to put in it myself. You know you're officially an adult when you have to fill your own stocking. It's a sad realization really. I'm sure that watching the kiddos react to the presents and stockings will inspire some kind of magical revitalization in me on Christmas morning, but for right now I'm struggling to be excited.
That is not the only thing that I'm struggling to get excited about though. I kind of knew that 25 would be a hard birthday. Though I am a year older, I am no nearer to what I thought life would be like at 25 years old. I'm not quite sure what I imagined life would be like, but this is not it!
And to top it all off, I am struggling to raise support for the trip to South Africa. I have less than 1 month before the first deadline and I am still so far away from the financial goal that must be reached in order to buy plane tickets. To say I am freaking out a little would be an understatement. I know that if I am meant to go, God will make a way. But I wonder if I am doing enough, if I'm supposed to be going since it's not looking like He's making a way, or if there is something else that is going on behind the scenes that I am not privy to.
So if you would pray for me I would greatly appreciate it. Here are some specifics:
1. I would need $2500 by Jan. 15 to buy plane tickets and solidify that I am going on the trip
2. My contentment in this weird time period of life while I am being asked to wait
3. My focus on the true reason for this Christmas season instead of looking at finances or impressions
4. For Key of Hope in Durban, South Africa, that they would be able to mend broken hearts and supply for the basic physical as well as spiritual and emotional needs of the children of Durban. (Rachel and Dan Smithers)
Showing posts with label provision. Show all posts
Showing posts with label provision. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
God asks strange things sometimes
This week has been an interesting one. I got paid on Friday, had a doctor's appointment for new glasses right after work and was planning a night in with take out. I have been trying to become a grown up, which is not all it's cracked up to be, so I got a rude awakening when I found that my appointment would cost me $270. Needless to say I was in shock. I knew it was expensive, but that number was not anywhere near what I was expecting. And for so many reasons (and not many of them good reasons) I burst into tears sitting in the optical chair. The lady didn't know what to do with me. I have gone there all my life, and the lady helping me is a member of my church, but she just sat there not quite knowing what happened or how to help.
While at work earlier, I bought Groupons for me and a friend to get our nails done for our birthdays. We were born 2 weeks apart and have been friends since we were in preschool and we wanted to do something special this year since we are turning 25. I had spent $70 on that. So between that, the glasses, and rent due this week I knew that I would be more broke than I have been in a long time.
There is nothing that stresses me out more than money, or more specifically, the lack of money. I went home and cried out to God. I didn't know what to do or how I was going to get through the 2 weeks until my next payday with $30 to my name without gas, food, or anything else. It is a terrible feeling to be broke on payday.
I emailed the people at Groupon asking if there was a way I could return the unused purchase. There policy is that within 7 days you have the option to return it. I got an email back from a person named Arlo C. who said he would give me a credit for my purchases on my Groupon account. I was thankful for that, but I needed the money, not a credit. I prayed that God would work some miracle out on my behalf and emailed Arlo back asking if there was any way I could get the money back on my card instead.
I was early for my friends birthday dinner and for some weird reason I pulled into Starbucks. I had a mental battle with myself about how I did not have the money for coffee, and almost turned around and left. But for some reason I stayed in line at the drive thru. I ordered a small drink and pulled around to the window. As I sat next in line, I noted a car pull up behind me. I felt God tug at my heart telling me to pay for her drink as well. I was confused. I had barely any money to begin with, and now he was asking me to pay for someone else's drink to? What if she is buying drinks for a bunch of people? I thought. I felt like God just sort of shrugged his shoulders and said "Oh well, do it anyway." As I pulled up to the window I was still battling. I handed the barista my money and said "I would like to pay for the next person's drink too" she smiled and nodded. I couldn't even tell you how much her drink was, but I was glad it seemed like I wasn't buying 10 people's drinks!
As I drove away I felt peace, not confusion and stress.
When I got to the dinner, still early, I sat in my car and checked my email on the off chance that Arlo had responded. And he had. I opened his email and read "Hi Ashley, No problem. I just issued a full refund back to your credit card you used for this purchase instead." I truly believe that God was checking to see if I would be faithful to what he asked me to do, and he was faithful to what he says. He is Provider. He cares about our concerns.
And on top of that, my optical bill went from $270 down to $188! Praise God!
Moral of the story: when God asks you to do something, do it, no matter how crazy it may sound!
While at work earlier, I bought Groupons for me and a friend to get our nails done for our birthdays. We were born 2 weeks apart and have been friends since we were in preschool and we wanted to do something special this year since we are turning 25. I had spent $70 on that. So between that, the glasses, and rent due this week I knew that I would be more broke than I have been in a long time.
There is nothing that stresses me out more than money, or more specifically, the lack of money. I went home and cried out to God. I didn't know what to do or how I was going to get through the 2 weeks until my next payday with $30 to my name without gas, food, or anything else. It is a terrible feeling to be broke on payday.
I emailed the people at Groupon asking if there was a way I could return the unused purchase. There policy is that within 7 days you have the option to return it. I got an email back from a person named Arlo C. who said he would give me a credit for my purchases on my Groupon account. I was thankful for that, but I needed the money, not a credit. I prayed that God would work some miracle out on my behalf and emailed Arlo back asking if there was any way I could get the money back on my card instead.
I was early for my friends birthday dinner and for some weird reason I pulled into Starbucks. I had a mental battle with myself about how I did not have the money for coffee, and almost turned around and left. But for some reason I stayed in line at the drive thru. I ordered a small drink and pulled around to the window. As I sat next in line, I noted a car pull up behind me. I felt God tug at my heart telling me to pay for her drink as well. I was confused. I had barely any money to begin with, and now he was asking me to pay for someone else's drink to? What if she is buying drinks for a bunch of people? I thought. I felt like God just sort of shrugged his shoulders and said "Oh well, do it anyway." As I pulled up to the window I was still battling. I handed the barista my money and said "I would like to pay for the next person's drink too" she smiled and nodded. I couldn't even tell you how much her drink was, but I was glad it seemed like I wasn't buying 10 people's drinks!
As I drove away I felt peace, not confusion and stress.
When I got to the dinner, still early, I sat in my car and checked my email on the off chance that Arlo had responded. And he had. I opened his email and read "Hi Ashley, No problem. I just issued a full refund back to your credit card you used for this purchase instead." I truly believe that God was checking to see if I would be faithful to what he asked me to do, and he was faithful to what he says. He is Provider. He cares about our concerns.
And on top of that, my optical bill went from $270 down to $188! Praise God!
Moral of the story: when God asks you to do something, do it, no matter how crazy it may sound!
Friday, November 9, 2012
What I learned from a little boy's lunch
This week I had a meeting with the ladies that are on my team for the mission trip to Durban, South Africa. We went over some fund raising information, our time line for meeting financial support goals, and got more information about what we will be doing with our time in that country. Paperwork was passed out, ideas were batted back and forth and responsibilities were volunteered for. All in all it was a productive meeting! Some of that paperwork was a list of how much money we have each received in donations. I'll be honest, I knew how much had been donated already on my behalf, but a little part of me was hoping that God had worked some serious miracles and that there would be a lot more money out of no where! I realize how silly that sounds, but God can do big things and I strongly believe that! But alas, the expected amount was all that was written on my paper.
I'll admit I was not surprised, but a little bummed. I called my mom to talk it through and get that good motherly wisdom that moms apparently inherit when babies grow up, and which I hope I end up with as well someday down the line. Her words of encouragement were simple but so true: "Trust God". Serious wisdom, I know!!
In my human brain I don't understand how God can take the small amount that I have and turn it into the much larger amount that I will need. How can He possibly turn $50 into $2,500 in 2 months? I like things to be logical and easily understood. I like to know how things work and what it will take to make them happen. I'm not very good at this whole faith thing sometimes. Then I let myself believe that my faith must not be solid enough for God to come through and give me a miracle. That notion terrifies me, but I know that it is not true.
While I was talking to my mom about my big dilemma I was reminded of a story in the Bible when Jesus did something huge with something tiny, even when everyone, including his closest friends (the disciples), had little faith.
The story is found in Matthew 14
Please read it on your own, I'm a big proponent of turning the pages of a Bible on your own, but I will give you the run down of it here:
A crowd has gathered to follow Jesus and listen to him teach and perform miracles. It started to get late and the disciples asked Jesus to send the crowd away so they could go buy food in the local villages because they couldn't provide food for them there. There happens to be a little boy among the people (God knew he was there for a reason) who has a lunch with him of 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish to eat. Jesus brings the little boy up, takes his lunch, prays, and distributes the food among the disciples to disperse to the crowd.
I bet they were skeptical. I can imagine the disciples thinking, "There are well over 5,000 people in this crowd and we have 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish. Clearly this will not be enough food." I can feel their disbelief, because I have felt it in my own life so clearly, especially the last few days. I have thought "Maybe God doesn't want me to go. Maybe the funds won't come in. I can't even imagine Him being able to make $50 into $2,500 in 2 months."
The best part is the end of the story. Jesus did come through in huge ways. The text says that there were "5,000 men, besides women and children." Let's do a little math. (Mind you I hate math, so it will be simple math!) There are 5,000 men. Let's say for examples sake that every man was married and brought his wife along with him to see Jesus. So that's 10,000 people. Then if each couple had 1 child with them that's 15,000 mouths to feed. But it seems like there were probably quite a few more children in the crowd than that given family sizes in that day. So for arguments sake, let's round up to 20,000 hungry bellies in the crowd. Here's the best part. They ALL ate until they were FULL!! And there were LEFTOVERS!
The moment that I remembered this story I felt God whispering into my heart "If I can feed thousands of people from a little boy's lunch, I can certainly pay for your trip from a $50 donation that was given in faith. He quieted my fears and gave me a little more faith. He can do great things! He can do things that my human brain cannot ever come close to understanding or explaining away with even the best logic. He is Provider. He is Father. He is all that I need. He is all that you need.
I'll admit I was not surprised, but a little bummed. I called my mom to talk it through and get that good motherly wisdom that moms apparently inherit when babies grow up, and which I hope I end up with as well someday down the line. Her words of encouragement were simple but so true: "Trust God". Serious wisdom, I know!!
In my human brain I don't understand how God can take the small amount that I have and turn it into the much larger amount that I will need. How can He possibly turn $50 into $2,500 in 2 months? I like things to be logical and easily understood. I like to know how things work and what it will take to make them happen. I'm not very good at this whole faith thing sometimes. Then I let myself believe that my faith must not be solid enough for God to come through and give me a miracle. That notion terrifies me, but I know that it is not true.
While I was talking to my mom about my big dilemma I was reminded of a story in the Bible when Jesus did something huge with something tiny, even when everyone, including his closest friends (the disciples), had little faith.
The story is found in Matthew 14
Please read it on your own, I'm a big proponent of turning the pages of a Bible on your own, but I will give you the run down of it here:
A crowd has gathered to follow Jesus and listen to him teach and perform miracles. It started to get late and the disciples asked Jesus to send the crowd away so they could go buy food in the local villages because they couldn't provide food for them there. There happens to be a little boy among the people (God knew he was there for a reason) who has a lunch with him of 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish to eat. Jesus brings the little boy up, takes his lunch, prays, and distributes the food among the disciples to disperse to the crowd.
I bet they were skeptical. I can imagine the disciples thinking, "There are well over 5,000 people in this crowd and we have 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish. Clearly this will not be enough food." I can feel their disbelief, because I have felt it in my own life so clearly, especially the last few days. I have thought "Maybe God doesn't want me to go. Maybe the funds won't come in. I can't even imagine Him being able to make $50 into $2,500 in 2 months."
The best part is the end of the story. Jesus did come through in huge ways. The text says that there were "5,000 men, besides women and children." Let's do a little math. (Mind you I hate math, so it will be simple math!) There are 5,000 men. Let's say for examples sake that every man was married and brought his wife along with him to see Jesus. So that's 10,000 people. Then if each couple had 1 child with them that's 15,000 mouths to feed. But it seems like there were probably quite a few more children in the crowd than that given family sizes in that day. So for arguments sake, let's round up to 20,000 hungry bellies in the crowd. Here's the best part. They ALL ate until they were FULL!! And there were LEFTOVERS!
The moment that I remembered this story I felt God whispering into my heart "If I can feed thousands of people from a little boy's lunch, I can certainly pay for your trip from a $50 donation that was given in faith. He quieted my fears and gave me a little more faith. He can do great things! He can do things that my human brain cannot ever come close to understanding or explaining away with even the best logic. He is Provider. He is Father. He is all that I need. He is all that you need.
Saturday, September 15, 2012
Necklaces for Durban
Have you ever seen a tutorial for how to make beads out of recycled paper? I saw one on Pinterest that looked really cool as a finished product, but the process seemed long and tedious. I wanted a necklace made of recycled paper beads, but I don't have the patience to make my own!
If you are like me, I have something great to show you!
These are necklaces that are made by the women from Durban, South Africa in squatter camps that we will be going to work with. All of the beads are hand made out of recycled paper. I am helping to sell these to raise money for the mission trip.
They are $10 each. If you are in the Clarkston, MI area and would like one please let me know!
The money not only helps me and the other women that are going on the trip, but the money will go to help the women in Durban. This is their livelihood. This is how they feed their families.
If you are like me, I have something great to show you!
These are necklaces that are made by the women from Durban, South Africa in squatter camps that we will be going to work with. All of the beads are hand made out of recycled paper. I am helping to sell these to raise money for the mission trip.
They are $10 each. If you are in the Clarkston, MI area and would like one please let me know!
The money not only helps me and the other women that are going on the trip, but the money will go to help the women in Durban. This is their livelihood. This is how they feed their families.
Blessings
I am such a blessed girl!
At a bonfire last night, a friend tried to sneak this into my purse. I unknowingly foiled her plan by bringing only my phone in the back pocket of my jeans! So she just handed the envelope to me and told me to open it later. I was so conscious of this envelope in my pocket the rest of the night.
I am terrible at waiting, so I opened it on my way to the car!
Inside I found this note and a few bills folded up together. To be honest, I didn't even look at the amount of money until today, I just read the note and my eyes filled up with tears, and I jumped up and down in the parking lot for a few minutes.
She gets it. We have been friends for most of our lives and God has lined up so many things for us over the years, but especially lately. I am so thankful for a soul sister that gets me!
She blesses me so much. It blesses me to know that there are people who believe in my dreams, no matter how big or small they may be!
At a bonfire last night, a friend tried to sneak this into my purse. I unknowingly foiled her plan by bringing only my phone in the back pocket of my jeans! So she just handed the envelope to me and told me to open it later. I was so conscious of this envelope in my pocket the rest of the night.
I am terrible at waiting, so I opened it on my way to the car!
Inside I found this note and a few bills folded up together. To be honest, I didn't even look at the amount of money until today, I just read the note and my eyes filled up with tears, and I jumped up and down in the parking lot for a few minutes.
She gets it. We have been friends for most of our lives and God has lined up so many things for us over the years, but especially lately. I am so thankful for a soul sister that gets me!
She blesses me so much. It blesses me to know that there are people who believe in my dreams, no matter how big or small they may be!
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
So grateful
Here is more information about my trip, what we will be doing while there, and some specifics of how to support me if you feel so led. As usual, no pressure. I just want to give those who are interested the ability to do so.
As you may have heard, Durban, South Africa has one of the highest numbers of AIDS cases in the world; it’s a place where more than 35 people die of AIDS every hour. This horrific epidemic leaves behind 3 to 6 million orphans. Can you envision a land where one in every five children is HIV positive? We are making the trip to Key of Hope, an organization that is working in Durban giving the children of this epidemic hope, by spreading the Gospel and providing food, medicine, and education for the underprivileged.
The date of the trip is July 25th through August 3rd, 2013, at an approximate cost of $4000. I am personally excited about the opportunity to serve and to minister and would be thrilled if you would partner with me. You will receive regular updates and pictures of all that God accomplishes before, during and after the trip.
If you are unable to give financially, remember your prayers are equally as important as I
begin to plan my trip with the team. I am confident that if it is the Lord’s will that I make this trip; then He will provide a way.
While in South Africa, I will have the opportunity to:
• Work in squatter camps bringing the life changing love of God through Gospel teaching, music and sports programs
• Build daycare shelters in the camps giving the children a safe environment as they receive the resources and training through Key of Hope
• Be changed myself as we spend time ministering to children that have much less than myself
If you are interested in helping, please send in your check payable to The River Church, 8393
East Holly Rd. Holly, MI. 48442 (Please note “Durban” along with my name "Ashley Young" in the
memo line).
Thank you all so much for even reading this blog. I understand that money is tight for many people and being asked to give can be a burden. All I ask is that you consider it. If you cannot give, I completely understand! Just your prayers and encouragement are greatly appreciated.
As you may have heard, Durban, South Africa has one of the highest numbers of AIDS cases in the world; it’s a place where more than 35 people die of AIDS every hour. This horrific epidemic leaves behind 3 to 6 million orphans. Can you envision a land where one in every five children is HIV positive? We are making the trip to Key of Hope, an organization that is working in Durban giving the children of this epidemic hope, by spreading the Gospel and providing food, medicine, and education for the underprivileged.
The date of the trip is July 25th through August 3rd, 2013, at an approximate cost of $4000. I am personally excited about the opportunity to serve and to minister and would be thrilled if you would partner with me. You will receive regular updates and pictures of all that God accomplishes before, during and after the trip.
If you are unable to give financially, remember your prayers are equally as important as I
begin to plan my trip with the team. I am confident that if it is the Lord’s will that I make this trip; then He will provide a way.
While in South Africa, I will have the opportunity to:
• Work in squatter camps bringing the life changing love of God through Gospel teaching, music and sports programs
• Build daycare shelters in the camps giving the children a safe environment as they receive the resources and training through Key of Hope
• Be changed myself as we spend time ministering to children that have much less than myself
If you are interested in helping, please send in your check payable to The River Church, 8393
East Holly Rd. Holly, MI. 48442 (Please note “Durban” along with my name "Ashley Young" in the
memo line).
Thank you all so much for even reading this blog. I understand that money is tight for many people and being asked to give can be a burden. All I ask is that you consider it. If you cannot give, I completely understand! Just your prayers and encouragement are greatly appreciated.
Thursday, September 6, 2012
I'm taking the plunge!
If you read my last post you know that I am praying about an opportunity to travel to Durban, South Africa. I never thought I would be the kind of person God would call to the mission field. I went on a short mission trip to NYC a couple years ago. I thought it would be a great idea since it was in the US and not as intimidating. I expected to feed the homeless on the streets of New York and hang out in the Big Apple for a few days. It was so much more than that! I watched God do some incredible things through listening to the stories of the men in the Bowery Mission's discipleship program and watching God provide food for the community. I heard stories of what God was up to and listened to testimonies from people whose lives had been changed in such radical ways that it could only have been by the grace of God.
One of my favorite stories I brought back from that trip was a huge example of God's provision. Certain days the mission goes out into the community and gives groceries to low-income families who would usually be choosing between paying the electricity bill and buying groceries for their family. We helped as the staff and students from the mission loaded up a huge box truck with food. At one point I looked around the store room that had been full of vegetables, fruits, breads, and other various foods and realized we were loading EVERYTHING into the truck.
I was a little concerned, after all the mission still had mouths to feed for lunch and dinner that night, not to mention the days after that. I didn't understand why they would take everything. So I asked! The student I asked just smiled and reassured me that there would be a truck waiting for us to unload when we got back.
We went out and gave away every last bit of that food, including hot stew and bread, and even walked through a nearby park and handed out sandwiches to somewhat skeptical but very appreciative people!
The whole time I was quietly wondering what they were going to manage to feed the people at the mission for dinner that night since we had cleaned them out. I remember riding back to the mission in the back of the truck and almost being crushed by empty crates that were once full of food.
When we pulled up in front of the mission, I climbed out of the truck and was met with an even bigger truck already in the process of unloading food into the mission. Not only did it replace what we had taken earlier, but it far exceeded what had been there before!
Growing up in a middle class family, I never wanted for anything. We always had food in the pantry and new clothes to wear. I had never known God as a provider before that trip. What a great way to see God provide in such a huge way!
I committed to going yesterday, and today am overwhelmed with a mixture of excitement and fear! I am expecting God to show up in huge ways in the course of preparing and going on this trip and I can't wait to tell you all the stories of his provision and unfailing love for me, the rest of the ladies on the trip, and the people of Durban, South Africa!
Please be praying for us in the months to come as we prepare, fund raise and learn to be the hands and feet of Jesus!
Stay tuned for more updates!
One of my favorite stories I brought back from that trip was a huge example of God's provision. Certain days the mission goes out into the community and gives groceries to low-income families who would usually be choosing between paying the electricity bill and buying groceries for their family. We helped as the staff and students from the mission loaded up a huge box truck with food. At one point I looked around the store room that had been full of vegetables, fruits, breads, and other various foods and realized we were loading EVERYTHING into the truck.
I was a little concerned, after all the mission still had mouths to feed for lunch and dinner that night, not to mention the days after that. I didn't understand why they would take everything. So I asked! The student I asked just smiled and reassured me that there would be a truck waiting for us to unload when we got back.
We went out and gave away every last bit of that food, including hot stew and bread, and even walked through a nearby park and handed out sandwiches to somewhat skeptical but very appreciative people!
The whole time I was quietly wondering what they were going to manage to feed the people at the mission for dinner that night since we had cleaned them out. I remember riding back to the mission in the back of the truck and almost being crushed by empty crates that were once full of food.
When we pulled up in front of the mission, I climbed out of the truck and was met with an even bigger truck already in the process of unloading food into the mission. Not only did it replace what we had taken earlier, but it far exceeded what had been there before!
Growing up in a middle class family, I never wanted for anything. We always had food in the pantry and new clothes to wear. I had never known God as a provider before that trip. What a great way to see God provide in such a huge way!
I committed to going yesterday, and today am overwhelmed with a mixture of excitement and fear! I am expecting God to show up in huge ways in the course of preparing and going on this trip and I can't wait to tell you all the stories of his provision and unfailing love for me, the rest of the ladies on the trip, and the people of Durban, South Africa!
Please be praying for us in the months to come as we prepare, fund raise and learn to be the hands and feet of Jesus!
Stay tuned for more updates!
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Putting life on hold is not a suitable option
Growing up near railroad tracks has given me a healthy respect for a common metaphor of life. If we continue to move forward, taking the next visible step, we are good. It is when we sit down and refuse to progress that the train comes. {I may have reworked that a bit, but you get the point!} I have also heard, and truly believe, that we do not need to see the whole staircase, we just need to see the next step.
So often I want to jump five steps ahead and have the ability to see into the future. I desperately want to know what my future looks like. I want to know where I'll be in five years {especially when so many people have been asking and I don't have an answer for them!} I want to know what state or city. I want to know what kind of career I'll have. Who I will marry and when. How many kids I will have. So many things. I'm a bit of a planner. I like to have a general idea of how my days, weeks, months, and sometimes years will look. I like to be doing something, so I need to know where I can fill in the gaps.
I have this date in mind that I hope something special will happen on. Only God knows if that is the case or not though. It drives me a little crazy sometimes thinking about the future and subconsciously planning around that date. I have recognized that I need to stop this mind set at once. God has perfect timing, so if that date is supposed to be open, it will be. I don't have to plan. I don't have to drive myself insane thinking about it and planning around it. In fact, if that day comes I would hope that the people involved would respect me even more for having acted on faith and gone about my life following God instead of putting everything on hold.
Recently I was listening to a friend and mentor talk about a mission trip that she is planning for the ladies of my church. I've known about the trip for a while now. I have seen the facebook messages about the meetings, I have heard people talk about it, I have not been blind to it. Never before did I have any desire to go. Not that I am disinterested in missions. In fact I have enjoyed the opportunities I have taken. But nothing inside me was saying that I should consider going and I was fine with that. Last night something changed. I was listening to her speak and tears welled up in my eyes. Don't get me wrong, I am a crier, so that is nothing new, but this was something else. I couldn't shake the sense that I needed more information.
So now I am praying about the possibility of going to South Africa July 2013. That is huge for me. I remember vividly a conversation I had with my father a few years ago. I mentioned something about a mission trip to Africa that I had heard about and he immediately, said I was absolutely not allowed to go. My dad was a cop my whole life up until a few years ago when he retired. Because of his time on the force I was raised in a protected home. I was not sheltered by any means, but I was always watched out for and made aware of the terrible things that happen every day, just in the US. I know the thoughts that went through his head when I mentioned going to Africa, a country with no stable governments, guerrilla warfare, an AIDS epidemic, and some of the deepest poverty of our world. I know the fears of his little girl never making it out of Africa. And I'm not saying he's wrong to think that. It's a real danger.
I was nervous to tell him that I was considering it. I expected the same response I got a few years ago. When I did tell him, his answer was nothing if not straight out of the mouth of God. "Okay" was all he said.
So in considering this opportunity, my mind landed on that date that I have subconsciously been planning around. It would be about a month before leaving for Africa. My mind immediately retracted and said to my heart, "Nope. Not gonna happen. Never mind. Forget that." When I recognized that ridiculous thought and was able to analyze it, I came to one conclusion. If God wants me to go to Africa, he will make a way no matter what I say. Why am I planning a huge God adventure around a silly date that may or may not happen? I cannot put my life on hold for something like that. There are times when we should step out in faith and hold fast to something that God has given us, but I don't believe this is one of those things. I think it is much more important to go on about what God wants me to do, instead of putting life on hold and sitting down on the train tracks waiting to be run over.
So often I want to jump five steps ahead and have the ability to see into the future. I desperately want to know what my future looks like. I want to know where I'll be in five years {especially when so many people have been asking and I don't have an answer for them!} I want to know what state or city. I want to know what kind of career I'll have. Who I will marry and when. How many kids I will have. So many things. I'm a bit of a planner. I like to have a general idea of how my days, weeks, months, and sometimes years will look. I like to be doing something, so I need to know where I can fill in the gaps.
I have this date in mind that I hope something special will happen on. Only God knows if that is the case or not though. It drives me a little crazy sometimes thinking about the future and subconsciously planning around that date. I have recognized that I need to stop this mind set at once. God has perfect timing, so if that date is supposed to be open, it will be. I don't have to plan. I don't have to drive myself insane thinking about it and planning around it. In fact, if that day comes I would hope that the people involved would respect me even more for having acted on faith and gone about my life following God instead of putting everything on hold.
Recently I was listening to a friend and mentor talk about a mission trip that she is planning for the ladies of my church. I've known about the trip for a while now. I have seen the facebook messages about the meetings, I have heard people talk about it, I have not been blind to it. Never before did I have any desire to go. Not that I am disinterested in missions. In fact I have enjoyed the opportunities I have taken. But nothing inside me was saying that I should consider going and I was fine with that. Last night something changed. I was listening to her speak and tears welled up in my eyes. Don't get me wrong, I am a crier, so that is nothing new, but this was something else. I couldn't shake the sense that I needed more information.
So now I am praying about the possibility of going to South Africa July 2013. That is huge for me. I remember vividly a conversation I had with my father a few years ago. I mentioned something about a mission trip to Africa that I had heard about and he immediately, said I was absolutely not allowed to go. My dad was a cop my whole life up until a few years ago when he retired. Because of his time on the force I was raised in a protected home. I was not sheltered by any means, but I was always watched out for and made aware of the terrible things that happen every day, just in the US. I know the thoughts that went through his head when I mentioned going to Africa, a country with no stable governments, guerrilla warfare, an AIDS epidemic, and some of the deepest poverty of our world. I know the fears of his little girl never making it out of Africa. And I'm not saying he's wrong to think that. It's a real danger.
I was nervous to tell him that I was considering it. I expected the same response I got a few years ago. When I did tell him, his answer was nothing if not straight out of the mouth of God. "Okay" was all he said.
So in considering this opportunity, my mind landed on that date that I have subconsciously been planning around. It would be about a month before leaving for Africa. My mind immediately retracted and said to my heart, "Nope. Not gonna happen. Never mind. Forget that." When I recognized that ridiculous thought and was able to analyze it, I came to one conclusion. If God wants me to go to Africa, he will make a way no matter what I say. Why am I planning a huge God adventure around a silly date that may or may not happen? I cannot put my life on hold for something like that. There are times when we should step out in faith and hold fast to something that God has given us, but I don't believe this is one of those things. I think it is much more important to go on about what God wants me to do, instead of putting life on hold and sitting down on the train tracks waiting to be run over.
Monday, August 27, 2012
I am one very blessed girl
Lately I have been learning a lot about God's unfailing love. I have been finding myself reading in Psalms quite a bit in the last few weeks. It is not an uncommon book for me to be in, but usually I have reading ADD and jump around and never really notice a common theme throughout my readings. God opened my eyes the last few weeks to the presence of his unfailing love for me (and for everyone). It seemed like everywhere I read, there it was. I love it when God does that! Not only has he been teaching me about it in his word, but in my life as well. I am so blessed and so often I don't even realize it.
This morning I had a huge blessing from God. This summer I have been wanting to go explore and travel more. I haven't gone on many vacations since I was in high school, with the exception of a mission trip and a few trips to Atlanta for a conference. Those aren't really vacations though. A vacation, to me, is relaxing and getting to do things on your own terms and see things you haven't seen before. God gave me a friend who has the same desire to travel, but I never realized it until this summer! Praise God for friends!!
This morning my friend and I bought tickets to fly into a city, spend the day, and fly home that night for $71.63! I couldn't even believe my eyes when I went to the website to buy the tickets! We were planning on driving there for the day to save some money, but the cost of gas alone would have been at least $60 for each of us, and parking in the city would have been ridiculous too! We will spend 12 hours in the city wandering and seeing the sights on the first day of fall!
I can't think of a better way to spend the day than with one of my closest friends in a city I love on the first day of our favorite season! We are so blessed!!
I also noticed while I was buying the tickets that the next cheapest flights were over $100 and heard that going later into the year, was over $200. God is so good to us! His unfailing love for us is unimaginable.
Here are a few references to the unfailing love that I have been shown lately:
Psalm 31:7
Psalm 31:16
Psalm 32:10
Psalm 33:4-5
Psalm 33:18-19
Psalm 33:22
Psalm 36:7
Psalm 52:8b
Psalm 89:1-2
Psalm 147:10-11
1 John 3:16, 18
Lamentations 3:31-33
Jeremiah 31:3-4
God loves you and me so much that he wants to bless us with the things that we desire most.
What has God blessed you with lately?
This morning I had a huge blessing from God. This summer I have been wanting to go explore and travel more. I haven't gone on many vacations since I was in high school, with the exception of a mission trip and a few trips to Atlanta for a conference. Those aren't really vacations though. A vacation, to me, is relaxing and getting to do things on your own terms and see things you haven't seen before. God gave me a friend who has the same desire to travel, but I never realized it until this summer! Praise God for friends!!
This morning my friend and I bought tickets to fly into a city, spend the day, and fly home that night for $71.63! I couldn't even believe my eyes when I went to the website to buy the tickets! We were planning on driving there for the day to save some money, but the cost of gas alone would have been at least $60 for each of us, and parking in the city would have been ridiculous too! We will spend 12 hours in the city wandering and seeing the sights on the first day of fall!
I can't think of a better way to spend the day than with one of my closest friends in a city I love on the first day of our favorite season! We are so blessed!!
I also noticed while I was buying the tickets that the next cheapest flights were over $100 and heard that going later into the year, was over $200. God is so good to us! His unfailing love for us is unimaginable.
Here are a few references to the unfailing love that I have been shown lately:
Psalm 31:7
Psalm 31:16
Psalm 32:10
Psalm 33:4-5
Psalm 33:18-19
Psalm 33:22
Psalm 36:7
Psalm 52:8b
Psalm 89:1-2
Psalm 147:10-11
1 John 3:16, 18
Lamentations 3:31-33
Jeremiah 31:3-4
God loves you and me so much that he wants to bless us with the things that we desire most.
What has God blessed you with lately?
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
God works in funny ways
I have had two interesting things happen to me this week that I know God lined up specifically for me when He knew I would need them.
As you probably remember, I went to camp a few weeks ago and expected to get paid for most of those days that I was gone. I got a rude awakening when I got my paycheck and found that I was only being paid for 2 of them. I was confused. I knew that I was going to serve God and not to just have fun and I thought God would take care of my finances while I was gone. That paycheck went quick. I had 2 bills due with that check plus gas and all the other things that are needed to live in this world. On top of that, I was planning a weekend getaway with a friend for the next weekend which would need some money.
Plans changed from a Traverse City or Mackinac Island trip to a weekend at my family's cabin up north. We ate cheap and just relaxed for the most part. It turned out to be what I needed. The stress of spending money that I don't have would have made the weekend less relaxing. And we discovered new places along the way that made it so much fun!
But I got back from the weekend and found myself with $20 to get me through the week, and half a tank of gas which would not last me until payday. I was struggling. I was wondering why God would send me to camp and then leave me here with no money because of it. Just when I wasn't sure what I was going to do I got a text message. The text message was from a mom who I babysit for occasionally. She needed someone in an hour if I could make it. I was just settling in for a nap and didn't really want to get out of bed! But I thought about it, and recognized that it was a moment God was presenting to me. I went and really enjoyed my time with the boys! They are very active boys, but I have a great time! Now I have enough money to make it to payday! Praise God!!
The other thing that happened was a little less of a necessity and more of an emotional need. As I have written about before, my home is basically a mixture of stress and chaos wrapped up into a too-small house. I went to bed and cried out to God, praying for someone to distract me or even remove me from the situation. I don't even know what I prayed exactly anymore, I just know that I was praying for a certain kind of friend to become present in my life. The next day at work I believe God granted that wish. I have been talking to a coworker and getting to know him. He seems to have a gentle spirit and is just a friendly guy. That was what I was praying for. I don't know if he is a believer, but I know God sent him as a distraction from the chaos. It is always fun to get to know new people!
Please pray for me to get control of my finances and for my new friendship to be what God wants it to be.
As you probably remember, I went to camp a few weeks ago and expected to get paid for most of those days that I was gone. I got a rude awakening when I got my paycheck and found that I was only being paid for 2 of them. I was confused. I knew that I was going to serve God and not to just have fun and I thought God would take care of my finances while I was gone. That paycheck went quick. I had 2 bills due with that check plus gas and all the other things that are needed to live in this world. On top of that, I was planning a weekend getaway with a friend for the next weekend which would need some money.
Plans changed from a Traverse City or Mackinac Island trip to a weekend at my family's cabin up north. We ate cheap and just relaxed for the most part. It turned out to be what I needed. The stress of spending money that I don't have would have made the weekend less relaxing. And we discovered new places along the way that made it so much fun!
But I got back from the weekend and found myself with $20 to get me through the week, and half a tank of gas which would not last me until payday. I was struggling. I was wondering why God would send me to camp and then leave me here with no money because of it. Just when I wasn't sure what I was going to do I got a text message. The text message was from a mom who I babysit for occasionally. She needed someone in an hour if I could make it. I was just settling in for a nap and didn't really want to get out of bed! But I thought about it, and recognized that it was a moment God was presenting to me. I went and really enjoyed my time with the boys! They are very active boys, but I have a great time! Now I have enough money to make it to payday! Praise God!!
The other thing that happened was a little less of a necessity and more of an emotional need. As I have written about before, my home is basically a mixture of stress and chaos wrapped up into a too-small house. I went to bed and cried out to God, praying for someone to distract me or even remove me from the situation. I don't even know what I prayed exactly anymore, I just know that I was praying for a certain kind of friend to become present in my life. The next day at work I believe God granted that wish. I have been talking to a coworker and getting to know him. He seems to have a gentle spirit and is just a friendly guy. That was what I was praying for. I don't know if he is a believer, but I know God sent him as a distraction from the chaos. It is always fun to get to know new people!
Please pray for me to get control of my finances and for my new friendship to be what God wants it to be.
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