Praise Him in the hallway

Sometimes things don't turn out the way we plan or the way we would like them to. And that is okay.

"Many are the plans in a person's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." Proverbs 19:21

This is a concept that I am trying to put into practice in my own life. I am the type of person who gets bored very quickly. I need a challenge and if I don't have it or if I get too complacent with something, I'm ready to head out on the next adventure. So many people have said, right now in my life is the best time for me to go out and do things, see things and explore before a husband, house, or babies tether me down. That is something I want to do. I want to travel. I want to do things that I will only be able to do easily in this period of life. I want to meet new people and go on solo adventures.

These things are not happening for me right now and I am frustrated to say the least.

Recently I thought one adventure was coming to a close. It's the kind of closing that most people dread, but I was hoping for it. I knew it would free me and force me out of the comfort zone I have been living in for about 2 years now.

But it didn't close.

Anyone else would have been thankful. I was pretty bummed. I hoped it would be my golden opportunity to take a risk and make a big life move, but that is not in the plans right now I guess.

I have to come to terms with the fact that my plans are not God's plans. No matter how well planned out my plans might be, I am not in control. Most days it is a comfort to know that I am not in control, but lately it has felt more like a burden than a blessing. I find myself striving in vain for some kind of control in my life.

I heard a quote (I don't know where it came from exactly) that said "If God doesn't open another door, praise Him in the hallway. I feel like that's where I'm living. It seems like I have been camped out in the hallway of life for a very long time now, just waiting for a door to open, even just a crack. I don't know what that door will lead to, but I have to believe that when it is the right time, a door will open.

So every time I walk down the hallway that leads to my bedroom I think to myself, "Praise Him in the hallway. Praise Him in the hallway. Praise Him in the hallway." It's a little mantra I have started in my head.

"To humans belong the plans of the heart, but from the Lord comes the proper answer of the tongue." Proverbs 16:1

"The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps." Proverbs 16:9

"If men devise their way, so as to make God’s glory their end and his will their rule, they may expect that he will direct their steps by his Spirit and grace, so that they shall not miss their way nor come short of their end. But let men devise their worldly affairs ever so politely, and with ever so great a probability of success, yet God has the ordering of the event, and sometimes directs their steps to that which they least intended. The design of this is to teach us to say, If the Lord will, we shall live and do this or that (Jam. 4:14, Jam. 4:15), and to have our eye to God, not only in the great turns of our lives, but in every step we take. Lord, direct my way, 1 Th. 3:11." Matthew Henry Commentary of Prov. 16:9

What I learned from a little boy's lunch

This week I had a meeting with the ladies that are on my team for the mission trip to Durban, South Africa. We went over some fund raising information, our time line for meeting financial support goals, and got more information about what we will be doing with our time in that country. Paperwork was passed out, ideas were batted back and forth and responsibilities were volunteered for. All in all it was a productive meeting! Some of that paperwork was a list of how much money we have each received in donations. I'll be honest, I knew how much had been donated already on my behalf, but a little part of me was hoping that God had worked some serious miracles and that there would be a lot more money out of no where! I realize how silly that sounds, but God can do big things and I strongly believe that! But alas, the expected amount was all that was written on my paper.

I'll admit I was not surprised, but a little bummed. I called my mom to talk it through and get that good motherly wisdom that moms apparently inherit when babies grow up, and which I hope I end up with as well someday down the line. Her words of encouragement were simple but so true: "Trust God". Serious wisdom, I know!!

In my human brain I don't understand how God can take the small amount that I have and turn it into the much larger amount that I will need. How can He possibly turn $50 into $2,500 in 2 months? I like things to be logical and easily understood. I like to know how things work and what it will take to make them happen. I'm not very good at this whole faith thing sometimes. Then I let myself believe that my faith must not be solid enough for God to come through and give me a miracle. That notion terrifies me, but I know that it is not true.

While I was talking to my mom about my big dilemma I was reminded of a story in the Bible when Jesus did something huge with something tiny, even when everyone, including his closest friends (the disciples), had little faith.

The story is found in Matthew 14
Please read it on your own, I'm a big proponent of turning the pages of a Bible on your own, but I will give you the run down of it here:
A crowd has gathered to follow Jesus and listen to him teach and perform miracles. It started to get late and the disciples asked Jesus to send the crowd away so they could go buy food in the local villages because they couldn't provide food for them there. There happens to be a little boy among the people (God knew he was there for a reason) who has a lunch with him of 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish to eat. Jesus brings the little boy up, takes his lunch, prays, and distributes the food among the disciples to disperse to the crowd.

I bet they were skeptical. I can imagine the disciples thinking, "There are well over 5,000 people in this crowd and we have 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish. Clearly this will not be enough food." I can feel their disbelief, because I have felt it in my own life so clearly, especially the last few days. I have thought "Maybe God doesn't want me to go. Maybe the funds won't come in. I can't even imagine Him being able to make $50 into $2,500 in 2 months."

The best part is the end of the story. Jesus did come through in huge ways. The text says that there were "5,000 men, besides women and children." Let's do a little math. (Mind you I hate math, so it will be simple math!) There are 5,000 men. Let's say for examples sake that every man was married and brought his wife along with him to see Jesus. So that's 10,000 people. Then if each couple had 1 child with them that's 15,000 mouths to feed. But it seems like there were probably quite a few more children in the crowd than that given family sizes in that day. So for arguments sake, let's round up to 20,000 hungry bellies in the crowd. Here's the best part. They ALL ate until they were FULL!! And there were LEFTOVERS!

The moment that I remembered this story I felt God whispering into my heart "If I can feed thousands of people from a little boy's lunch, I can certainly pay for your trip from a $50 donation that was given in faith. He quieted my fears and gave me a little more faith. He can do great things! He can do things that my human brain cannot ever come close to understanding or explaining away with even the best logic. He is Provider. He is Father. He is all that I need. He is all that you need.

So grateful

Here is more information about my trip, what we will be doing while there, and some specifics of how to support me if you feel so led. As usual, no pressure. I just want to give those who are interested the ability to do so. 

As you may have heard, Durban, South Africa has one of the highest numbers of AIDS cases in the world; it’s a place where more than 35 people die of AIDS every hour. This horrific epidemic leaves behind 3 to 6 million orphans. Can you envision a land where one in every five children is HIV positive? We are making the trip to Key of Hope, an organization that is working in Durban giving the children of this epidemic hope, by spreading the Gospel and providing food, medicine, and education for the underprivileged.

The date of the trip is July 25th through August 3rd, 2013, at an approximate cost of $4000. I am personally excited about the opportunity to serve and to minister and would be thrilled if you would partner with me. You will receive regular updates and pictures of all that God accomplishes before, during and after the trip.

If you are unable to give financially, remember your prayers are equally as important as I
begin to plan my trip with the team. I am confident that if it is the Lord’s will that I make this trip; then He will provide a way.

While in South Africa, I will have the opportunity to:

• Work in squatter camps bringing the life changing love of God through Gospel teaching, music and sports programs
• Build daycare shelters in the camps giving the children a safe environment as they receive the resources and training through Key of Hope
• Be changed myself as we spend time ministering to children that have much less than myself

If you are interested in helping, please send in your check payable to The River Church, 8393
East Holly Rd. Holly, MI. 48442 (Please note “Durban” along with my name "Ashley Young" in the
memo line).

Thank you all so much for even reading this blog. I understand that money is tight for many people and being asked to give can be a burden. All I ask is that you consider it. If you cannot give, I completely understand! Just your prayers and encouragement are greatly appreciated.

Hopes and dreams

Do you have a dream that God has given you to carry? I do. Sometimes I think that I made it up on my own. That this dream has crept into my mind on its own and God had nothing to do with it. But that is false. I believe that God has put this dream in my heart to give me hope. I have been praying for confirmation that my dream is not crazy and God came through in huge ways! I love when God comes through with a verse to speak to my situation. It makes me feel like it's more real than if someone says a certain thing to me, because human words can get mixed up sometimes but scripture endures forever and is the same today as it was 1,000 years ago.

The verse He gave me this weekend was:
Psalm 119:49-50
"Remember your word to your servant, for you have given me hope. My comfort in my suffering is this: your promise preserves my life."

Isn't that great? It speaks directly to the hope that He has given me through the dream that has been placed in my heart. I find that it is hard to not get discouraged sometimes when you have a dream, but your hope is slipping. I believe that He gave me this dream for a reason, and that He won't dash my dreams, but when it doesn't happen right away it can be frustrating.

I heard a great quote from Oswald Chambers yesterday and it is so true of life in this time. He said, "God gives us a vision and then He takes us down to the valley to batter us into the shape of the vision, and it is in the valley that so many of us faint and give way."

I am definitely in the valley right now. I can recognize that I am not the person that I need to be to receive the vision He has given me and He is using this time in the valley to shape me into who I need to become. If you find yourself in the valley when you thought your dreams were going to come true, don't lose faith. He IS coming through, He just needs to teach you a few things in the mean time. And do everything you can to learn and accept the things He is trying to teach you so your time in the valley may be shorter!

Part of what I believe God is teaching me is how to become the woman that I need to become. Part of that is finding some women to mentor me and help teach me and shape me into who God wants me to become for the next stage of life that is coming my way. I believe that I may have found that group of women. But I will know better later this week! So stay tuned!

Resolutions

Top ten New Year's resolutions of Americans:

1. Spend more time with family and friends

2. Get fit

3. Lose weight

4. Quit smoking

5. Enjoy life more

6. Quit drinking

7. Get out of debt

8. Learn something new

9. Help others

10. Get organized

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My top ten New Year's resolutions:

1.Finish writing the book I started a couple years ago

2. Let go of things I cannot change and give them to God

3. Forgive easily

4. Find a way to serve God better each day

5. Save more money

6. Finish as many things as I start

7. Make new friends

8. Strive to make people feel welcome and cared for

9. Get organized

10. Get healthy

What about you?

Do you make resolutions? If so, what are your New Year's resolutions? Have you made them and kept them in the past?