Praise Him in the hallway

Sometimes things don't turn out the way we plan or the way we would like them to. And that is okay.

"Many are the plans in a person's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." Proverbs 19:21

This is a concept that I am trying to put into practice in my own life. I am the type of person who gets bored very quickly. I need a challenge and if I don't have it or if I get too complacent with something, I'm ready to head out on the next adventure. So many people have said, right now in my life is the best time for me to go out and do things, see things and explore before a husband, house, or babies tether me down. That is something I want to do. I want to travel. I want to do things that I will only be able to do easily in this period of life. I want to meet new people and go on solo adventures.

These things are not happening for me right now and I am frustrated to say the least.

Recently I thought one adventure was coming to a close. It's the kind of closing that most people dread, but I was hoping for it. I knew it would free me and force me out of the comfort zone I have been living in for about 2 years now.

But it didn't close.

Anyone else would have been thankful. I was pretty bummed. I hoped it would be my golden opportunity to take a risk and make a big life move, but that is not in the plans right now I guess.

I have to come to terms with the fact that my plans are not God's plans. No matter how well planned out my plans might be, I am not in control. Most days it is a comfort to know that I am not in control, but lately it has felt more like a burden than a blessing. I find myself striving in vain for some kind of control in my life.

I heard a quote (I don't know where it came from exactly) that said "If God doesn't open another door, praise Him in the hallway. I feel like that's where I'm living. It seems like I have been camped out in the hallway of life for a very long time now, just waiting for a door to open, even just a crack. I don't know what that door will lead to, but I have to believe that when it is the right time, a door will open.

So every time I walk down the hallway that leads to my bedroom I think to myself, "Praise Him in the hallway. Praise Him in the hallway. Praise Him in the hallway." It's a little mantra I have started in my head.

"To humans belong the plans of the heart, but from the Lord comes the proper answer of the tongue." Proverbs 16:1

"The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps." Proverbs 16:9

"If men devise their way, so as to make God’s glory their end and his will their rule, they may expect that he will direct their steps by his Spirit and grace, so that they shall not miss their way nor come short of their end. But let men devise their worldly affairs ever so politely, and with ever so great a probability of success, yet God has the ordering of the event, and sometimes directs their steps to that which they least intended. The design of this is to teach us to say, If the Lord will, we shall live and do this or that (Jam. 4:14, Jam. 4:15), and to have our eye to God, not only in the great turns of our lives, but in every step we take. Lord, direct my way, 1 Th. 3:11." Matthew Henry Commentary of Prov. 16:9

Light at the end of this tunnel

As you know, I have been in a serious funk lately. So many dreams that I have been dreaming for years are either being taken away completely or are feeling less and less likely. I have felt like God has forgotten me lately.

I am usually a pretty happy person. My life has never been easy, but through it I have learned to be joyful in spite of my troubles. The last couple weeks that joy was gone and I couldn't seem to find it again. I knew it was my fault, but I could not drag myself out of this funk.

A friend and I have been talking and praying about starting a get together of sorts for girls like us, stuck in this weird mid-20s and single phase of life. She was optimistic, and I was cynical. Those are usually our roles, we balance each other out I suppose! Last week was the first week of this thing, and it was only her and I. I became more cynical, and she prayed harder. I felt let down and frustrated with everything in life, so I found myself dwelling on that, instead of doing the only thing that I could do, pray. I had resigned myself to it just being the 2 of us. I love her dearly, but I wanted to reach more people.


Last night was the second night. Our party of 2 became a party of 3! It was great. We shared and got to know one another. We laughed and cried. We shared our hearts, our hurts and our hope for the future. It was great!

Today, I feel a little more like my usually self! I have a spring in my step and a new assurance that the light at the end of the tunnel that I see is probably not a train!

6.5 minutes of wisdom

I have 6.5 minutes to write something profound to you. Something to encourage you. Something to help you realize that there is more to life than what we have made it out to be. So here goes:

1. Make room in your schedule to just be alone with no plan. The most amazing things come from time that begs you to use it however you want.

2. There are people around you every day that need what you have. Don't hold back. Share your heart, your gifts, and your time with people.

3. Find a style of fashion, writing, reading, creating, whatever suits you, that, well, suits you! Who cares if other people think it's ridiculous. They don't have to live your life.

4. Spend more time with the children in your life than adults. Children have the best perspective on life because the world hasn't made them skeptical and calloused yet.

5. Some nights it's okay to go to bed early and some nights it's better to stay out until the crack of dawn. Just choose wisely so you don't waste your late nights with nothing to show for them.

6. You are enough. Don't let anyone lead you to believe otherwise.

7. Sometimes the best way to get over something is to knock it down and jump on it a few times! {Note: this does not refer to people!}

There you have it! Seven things that I came up with in less than 7 minutes! Time to go!
Enjoy today while it lasts!

My heart is broken

This year has been a hard one. I know I'm not the only one who has noticed it. Looking back on 2012 there have been some huge things happen in my life and in the lives of those around me. There has been more death surrounding me than ever before in one year. It could be that I'm getting older and I know more people, many of which are much older than me. But that's not all of it. 

In the last 3 weeks there have been 3 young women somehow connected to my life that have died. They were 21, 23, and 24. I don't understand. It's harder when young people are taken from us. We struggle to figure out why things like this happen. 

One of these girls was the daughter of a family friend. She was in college and a sorority, on her way to work when something went terribly wrong. We can never know why things like this happen, but good can come from the pain. At her funeral the church was packed. I heard somewhere around 900 people were there. I would guess that many of them do not know Jesus. But after the funeral they had all heard His name. 

Romans 8:28

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

God is not surprised when things like this happen. We probably would not have chosen to go through things like this, but God has a Divine plan that we are not always privy to. He promises to work everything together for good. They may hurt now, but beauty can be found in brokenness. 

The most recent blow to my life has been felt all the way from Florida. A man that I know and respect greatly was involved in a traffic accident on Monday. He is in a medically induced coma while doctors figure out how to heal his injuries and assess what his life will look like after this incident. 

A Facebook group has been set up to keep people informed about progress, but mostly to ask for prayers for his recovery. I was not surprised to see that well over 1,000 people have responded to the group. I can't even imagine the number of prayers that have been spoken, begging God to bring healing and comfort. 

In the end, I am left asking God why things like this happen. Why are there serial killers sitting in prisons all over the world healthy as can be, but some of the greatest people I know have to experience these things? Maybe He knows that in the death of a great man/woman/girl/boy people draw closer to Jesus. But it still hurts.

I don't mean to question the sovereignty of God. Maybe the better questions is, for what purpose does He have these things happen?

Talking to a friend last night we realized that even though this year has been one of the most difficult we have lived through, it has also been one of the best. We have experienced some deep valleys, but we have also experienced some of the highest mountain tops with Jesus.

So the moral of the story seems to be: trust God. When you are hurting, seek Him. When you don't understand, ask Him. When you feel like you cannot take any more of a beating, run to God. When it feels like life is crumbling around you, rest in the knowledge that God has you in the palm of His hand. When things are spinning out of control, know that God has everything under His control.

Please pray for the families of those that have lost loved ones. You don't need to know them specifically, but God knows. And also please pray for healing for Pastor Dave Vanaman in Ft. Myers, FL. 

I'm selfish

Sometimes I am shamefully unaware of how selfish I am.

I like to think that I am usually pretty conscious of people and do my best to offer what I can to those in need. I try to pay attention to what is going on in people's lives and reach out when they need a friend. I realized this weekend how much I fail in that area. It's not a fun realization to have, but it is so necessary.

On Friday I went to a young adult event. I haven't been there in a long time, but a friend asked me to go with her so I said yes. I know a lot of the people that were there, but was sticking with a few people that I am closest to. Out of nowhere I walked by a girl that I have only met a few times who was sitting alone at a table. There were other people at the table, but each was engrossed in their own separate conversations. I was on my way to check out the food selection when God sort of tapped me on the shoulder and told me to sit down next to her.

I'm a friendly person, so this isn't uncommon for me to do, but I really wanted to get something to eat, and I had been following a friend over to the food table. I didn't really want to abandon her and sit down and strike up a conversation with someone I barely knew. But I did it anyway. And I am so glad I did!
She expressed to me how out of place and unwanted she felt. I could see her frustration and anxiety over the whole situation and I was immediately so grateful I had listened when God told me she needed a friend. She was telling me things that I, myself feel on a regular basis, and I wish someone would sit down next to me and just listen and encourage me.

I didn't want to put my desires on the back burner. I wanted to get a plate of food and sit down with a group of my close friends and not have to try. Not have to struggle to come up with something to say when I feel uncomfortable. Not have to step out of my comfort zone. Not have to feel burdened for someone else. Not have to feel the weight of her anxiety. Listening to God's gentle nudgings doesn't always sound appealing, but they are always used by God to do great things.

The girl I had sat down with later came and sat with me during worship and the service. I know that I didn't do anything extraordinary, I just listened when God said someone needed someone to care about them right then. But what about the times that I don't listen? Who have I refused to care about because my desires or needs were more important than theirs? What could have been accomplished if I had simply sat down next to someone who needed a friend for a few minutes?

Putting life on hold is not a suitable option

Growing up near railroad tracks has given me a healthy respect for a common metaphor of life. If we continue to move forward, taking the next visible step, we are good. It is when we sit down and refuse to progress that the train comes. {I may have reworked that a bit, but you get the point!} I have also heard, and truly believe, that we do not need to see the whole staircase, we just need to see the next step.

So often I want to jump five steps ahead and have the ability to see into the future. I desperately want to know what my future looks like. I want to know where I'll be in five years {especially when so many people have been asking and I don't have an answer for them!} I want to know what state or city. I want to know what kind of career I'll have. Who I will marry and when. How many kids I will have. So many things. I'm a bit of a planner. I like to have a general idea of how my days, weeks, months, and sometimes years will look. I like to be doing something, so I need to know where I can fill in the gaps.

I have this date in mind that I hope something special will happen on. Only God knows if that is the case or not though. It drives me a little crazy sometimes thinking about the future and subconsciously planning around that date. I have recognized that I need to stop this mind set at once. God has perfect timing, so if that date is supposed to be open, it will be. I don't have to plan. I don't have to drive myself insane thinking about it and planning around it. In fact, if that day comes I would hope that the people involved would respect me even more for having acted on faith and gone about my life following God instead of putting everything on hold.

Recently I was listening to a friend and mentor talk about a mission trip that she is planning for the ladies of my church. I've known about the trip for a while now. I have seen the facebook messages about the meetings, I have heard people talk about it, I have not been blind to it. Never before did I have any desire to go. Not that I am disinterested in missions. In fact I have enjoyed the opportunities I have taken. But nothing inside me was saying that I should consider going and I was fine with that. Last night something changed. I was listening to her speak and tears welled up in my eyes. Don't get me wrong, I am a crier, so that is nothing new, but this was something else. I couldn't shake the sense that I needed more information.

So now I am praying about the possibility of going to South Africa July 2013. That is huge for me. I remember vividly a conversation I had with my father a few years ago. I mentioned something about a mission trip to Africa that I had heard about and he immediately, said I was absolutely not allowed to go. My dad was a cop my whole life up until a few years ago when he retired. Because of his time on the force I was raised in a protected home. I was not sheltered by any means, but I was always watched out for and made aware of the terrible things that happen every day, just in the US. I know the thoughts that went through his head when I mentioned going to Africa, a country with no stable governments, guerrilla warfare, an AIDS epidemic, and some of the deepest poverty of our world. I know the fears of his little girl never making it out of Africa. And I'm not saying he's wrong to think that. It's a real danger.

I was nervous to tell him that I was considering it. I expected the same response I got a few years ago. When I did tell him, his answer was nothing if not straight out of the mouth of God. "Okay" was all he said.

So in considering this opportunity, my mind landed on that date that I have subconsciously been planning around. It would be about a month before leaving for Africa. My mind immediately retracted and said to my heart, "Nope. Not gonna happen. Never mind. Forget that." When I recognized that ridiculous thought and was able to analyze it, I came to one conclusion. If God wants me to go to Africa, he will make a way no matter what I say. Why am I planning a huge God adventure around a silly date that may or may not happen? I cannot put my life on hold for something like that. There are times when we should step out in faith and hold fast to something that God has given us, but I don't believe this is one of those things. I think it is much more important to go on about what God wants me to do, instead of putting life on hold and sitting down on the train tracks waiting to be run over.

I just want to be an encouragement

I have lived a cynical, walled in life for far too long. Lately I have been really trying to branch out and make new friends. For a long time my closest friends have been just like me. They are heavily involved in church and various ministries, love Jesus, and live a "Christian life". In the past few months I have noticed that I am suddenly not close to many of those people anymore. It hurt at first, but I think I am beginning to understand it more now. I had closed myself off to non-believers, and sadly that is common for Christians. It is easier to spend time with people who think the same way as you do.

From now on, I want to live a life that is an encouragement to those around me, whether they believe in my God or not. I want my character to scream Christ, not my mouth. I want my life to represent my Jesus without it coming out of my mouth constantly. Don't misunderstand me, I still intend on talking about him, but it is not my main focus. I just want to love people like Jesus did.

In college ministry I had a friend tell me that so many people that were Christians were obnoxious about it. She made it clear that she didn't want to go to church because of the way God's people represented him. I asked her if I had ever made her feel that way and if I had I wanted to apologize. She said "actually I don't think you and I have ever had a conversation about God. And I know you wouldn't shove it down my throat anyway." At first I felt like I had failed to do my part, but I realized that she was actually giving me a compliment. The name of Jesus didn't have to come out of my mouth for me to show him in my life.

From now on I want to look for opportunities to encourage people and show them Christ without verbally laying out the gospel for them. Don't get me wrong, there is a time and a place for that and it is important, but it isn't always what people need right then. Sometimes we just plant the seed in someone's life, other times we water it, and sometimes we are fortunate enough to reap the harvest and see someone come to Christ. Sometimes we are all 3 in someone's life, but most of the time we are only 1 of them. Isn't it important to do our part, even in the small things?

I'm frustrated with what we call "church"

I have been in church pretty much every Sunday since I was born. I have gone to different kinds of churches in different places. I have experienced worship and sermons from various people and places. I have gone to camps and conferences and revivals and mission trips. And I spent 15 months as an intern at a church. I guess you could say I have a lot of experience with church. I'm no expert, but I think I can speak from what experience I have had.

About a year ago I found myself serving in ministry 6 out of 7 days most weeks, sometimes more. On top of attending church on Sundays (both services my church offered) I was helping in the nursery, leading a middle school girls' small group, involved in young adult ministry, attending the young adult small group, helping at youth group, serving at the Saturday Night service, and so much more that I can't even begin to list here. At one point I stopped and thought "Why am I doing all of this?" I wasn't doing all these things to worship God or grow closer to Jesus, I was doing them largely due to routine and appearances. I was warn thin and my personal life was beginning to show it. My life was showing signs of unraveling at the seams. After wading through this dilemma within me, I realized that I had to choose between my sanity and the ministries I was serving in. I had to step away from some things I was involved in.

When I began to step away from things there was some tension. People questioned my walk with God. They gossiped about what was wrong with me or how I was living my life. I tried to ignore the things I heard about myself that were not true, but it's not always easy.

Now I am again re-evaluating the ministries I am involved in. There have been things going on that I don't agree with. For the most part they aren't big, ministry ending things, but they are important none the less. There seems to be a huge focus on planning and recognition that I have noticed and a lack of being the hands and feet of Jesus here on earth. We are called to love people, not plan events to get people involved. Follow where the Spirit leads, not forge our own path. Give over control of our lives and our ministries, not be as involved as possible in everything. If we love people, God will bring the increase. And without the love of Christ running through us the people that come to that perfectly planned event will not want to come back. When we follow where the Spirit is leading us, we don't have to go through the hassle of cutting a new path and risk the peril lying ahead. And it is impossible to give 100% when we are trying to divide our time and energy into too many things.

The American church has it all wrong.

I look to the mission fields around the world for the true meaning of what Jesus is all about. They don't have beautiful, clean and fancy church buildings, they take the gospel to the city streets where the homeless need a true Savior. They go to the orphanages where the children need a Father. They give food and clothes and basic necessities to the needy who need to know the Provider. They go to the shut ins and widows who need a Lover. They provide medical care to those who need a Healer.

What are we doing to show the world the Jesus we serve and what He can do? It's not about people knowing our names or a perfectly executed event at church, it's about loving people. Even if it's not the homeless or orphans we can reach, there are still lost and dying people all around us, literally, that need to know Jesus. I want to challenge you to break the mindset of many churches and truly love people the way Jesus did.

God works in funny ways

I have had two interesting things happen to me this week that I know God lined up specifically for me when He knew I would need them.

As you probably remember, I went to camp a few weeks ago and expected to get paid for most of those days that I was gone. I got a rude awakening when I got my paycheck and found that I was only being paid for 2 of them. I was confused. I knew that I was going to serve God and not to just have fun and I thought God would take care of my finances while I was gone. That paycheck went quick. I had 2 bills due with that check plus gas and all the other things that are needed to live in this world. On top of that, I was planning a weekend getaway with a friend for the next weekend which would need some money.

Plans changed from a Traverse City or Mackinac Island trip to a weekend at my family's cabin up north. We ate cheap and just relaxed for the most part. It turned out to be what I needed. The stress of spending money that I don't have would have made the weekend less relaxing. And we discovered new places along the way that made it so much fun!

But I got back from the weekend and found myself with $20 to get me through the week, and half a tank of gas which would not last me until payday. I was struggling. I was wondering why God would send me to camp and then leave me here with no money because of it. Just when I wasn't sure what I was going to do I got a text message. The text message was from a mom who I babysit for occasionally. She needed someone in an hour if I could make it. I was just settling in for a nap and didn't really want to get out of bed! But I thought about it, and recognized that it was a moment God was presenting to me. I went and really enjoyed my time with the boys! They are very active boys, but I have a great time! Now I have enough money to make it to payday! Praise God!!

The other thing that happened was a little less of a necessity and more of an emotional need. As I have written about before, my home is basically a mixture of stress and chaos wrapped up into a too-small house. I went to bed and cried out to God, praying for someone to distract me or even remove me from the situation. I don't even know what I prayed exactly anymore, I just know that I was praying for a certain kind of friend to become present in my life. The next day at work I believe God granted that wish. I have been talking to a coworker and getting to know him. He seems to have a gentle spirit and is just a friendly guy. That was what I was praying for. I don't know if he is a believer, but I know God sent him as a distraction from the chaos. It is always fun to get to know new people!

Please pray for me to get control of my finances and for my new friendship to be what God wants it to be.

I believe in fairytales

As a little girl I loved fairytales! (Let's be honest I still love fairytales!!) I believed as a child that fairytales came true for us. I wanted the fairytale life. I wanted to live happily-ever-after! But over time, life began to teach me that those were just for the imaginations of children and not real life. I learned that there was no such thing as "happily-ever-after" but only miserable-ever-after or divorce. I saw these trends repeated over and over again in the lives of the people closest to me. And I began to think that there was something wrong with me for still wanting that dream life, so I gave up on it. I allowed the world to form my opinions on love and marriage. I began to believe that marriages rarely work out, and that it is just better not to get married. I sometimes even found myself thinking sarcastically that marriage was the last legal form of slavery. But those are big fat lies from the devil!!! He wants us to give up on our dreams. He wants us to throw away God's perfect plans for marriage and love.

 In studying God's word, I have been reminded that we are a broken, mess of a people. It began in the Garden of Eden and has carried on since then. God designed marriage to last. It is a picture of Jesus' love for the church and His commitment to all believers. That kind of love and commitment is not something that should end or be contingent on feelings

Don't get me wrong, I know very little about actually being married. I have never even been in a serious dating relationship, let alone married. But I have read what God says about it, and He is never wrong! Too many people live based on their emotions and how they feel about something. That is not healthy. If I based all of my decisions on how I felt, I wouldn't go to work most days, I would eat everything in site, and I would say everything that came to mind regardless of how it makes others feel. I don't want to love people most of the time, but I know that is what I am called to do. I don't want to get up early and drive to work to sit in a cubicle, but I have to. I don't want to filter what I say, especially when I am mad and want to tell someone off, but I have to.
I can imagine that most days in a marriage you are asked to love someone that you may not feel like loving that day for whatever reason. But you have to choose to do what is right. 

So I want to let you all know that I 100% believe that fairytales are possible! I believe that if I wait on God and the man that He has for me, I will have a God-honoring happily-ever-after. There will most certainly be hardships and trials to overcome, but it will be worth it!
When life has given us every reason to become callous toward love and marriage, wait for God's perfect plan and prove the world wrong!

What is He doing up stream?

"God will silently plan for you,
His purpose will all unfold;
Your tangled life will shine at last
A masterpiece of skill untold."

I'm not sure who said these words, but I know they speak truth into my life! I am a masterpiece at the hands of an almighty and loving God. We may not see God working right now, but He is always there.
I love to relate this to the story of Moses and the Israelites as they escaped from Egypt. God split the Red Sea and all of the people walked across the floor of the sea and it was dry! That sounds all well and good to a kid in Sunday School, but when you really think about the reality of that, it is unfathomable! The water had to be somewhere right? God was working up stream to stop the water. And what about all of the creatures in the water? Where did they go? God was working up stream. Can you imagine being up stream and seeing the water backing up and wondering what was going on? They were probably so confused by it all. What if it had been a dry time and all of a sudden, the banks were being overflowed and the water just continued to rise?

God works up stream! We can't tell what's going on when we're standing on the banks of the Red Sea staring into the deep water, until all of a sudden the water parts, taking the fish and the weeds and the waves with it. You tentatively dip your toe in and test the ground and it is completely dry, just waiting for you to take the first step into the river bed.

Is God asking you to take that first step into the river bed and trust that He has orchestrated everything you will need up stream? Are you willing to step in and trust what He says?

Built for so much more

You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you! Isaiah 26:3

I have been through a lot. If you are curious about what I mean by that, invite me to coffee and ask. I am an open book about the things of my past usually. I don't see my past as shameful. I see it as a less than great time in life when God was teaching me to become a strong woman. Sometimes I pray that God would bring me a no drama, piece of cake husband and marriage. I pray that he would be free of the baggage and hurt that I have witnessed in my parents and seen in my own life. I pray that we would live "happily-ever-after". But I know that is not what my life will look like. I realized something a few weeks ago. If I were to marry that kind of man, my past, all the hurt and everything I experienced would have been in vain. I have so much strength and knowledge that I have learned through the issues of my past that will come in handy in my future life. I now realize that I have been prepared my whole life for a man who will need a strong woman like me.

Knowing the trend that many women marry someone like their father, I used to pray that God would not giving me a husband in a "uniformed profession." Don't get me wrong, those uniforms are very nice to look at, but I didn't want to marry someone with the same issues with PTSD like my father. It has been a hard road, learning how to handle the different person my dad became after developing PTSD from his time on the police force, and I didn't want to have to deal with that any more. But what I realized was, who would be better equipped than me for that?

Men that have seen the things that no one should have to see are a special breed. Some handle it better than others, but it still leaves scars and nightmares and memories of the worst of humanity. These men need a special woman to care for them. Maybe, just maybe I have been being prepared for something like that my whole life?

The knowledge of this scares me, I won't lie! But I know that I have a God who is bigger than all my fears and He is already there and knows what I will need once I get there. I truly believe that I am in the final phases of my training before I begin this challenge, so I am soaking up everything that I can now to be as well equipped as possible. I want to become the woman that my husband will need. 

You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you! Isaiah 26:3

More like her

I decided at the beginning of the summer that I wanted to learn more about the women of the Bible on my own. Admittedly, I haven't sought out information about the matriarchs of the Bible before, and boy oh boy was I in for a treat!

I think I was most curious about these women because of the way my family is shaped. We do not have patriarchs, we have matriarchs. My grandfathers died before I was born, so I was loved by my grandmothers. I don't have many uncles, but a ton of aunts. And many of my cousins that are close to my age are female. Even in my own immediate family it is the same. My dad is more hands off so my mom is the one involved in the daily goings on of the family. The same is true of my niece and nephew's father. He works afternoons and doesn't play as big of a role in the daily life of his children. 

I didn't exactly go about things in an orderly fashion, just tried to follow where the Spirit led me.

I have studied Lydia, Rebekah, Sarah, Hagar, the Proverbs 31 woman, Rahab, Gomer, Job's wife, Hannah, Samson's mother, Delilah, and Tamar.

I have really enjoyed learning about these women. They all have the most interesting stories and play such huge parts in the stories that were so familiar to me from my years in Christian school and church, but I never realized it! Sermons tend to center on the men of the Bible that do great things. But what about the women that were holding down the fort, encouraging, shaping, loving, molding, and raising these men? Samuel would never have lived to do great things if Hannah had not prayed and wept and trusted God for him. There are 3 women named in the lineage of Christ, that's important! Men were able to rise above the others because of the women they could trust to manage their homes. Women opened their homes to disciples and cared for them. Or hid spies in her country to protect them from the wrath (based in fear) of the armies of her country. Men were tempted by these women too. They fell to their deception and even lusted after their beauty. They were raised by incredible women and raised sweet little girls to become incredible women.

I want to be more like these women and learn from these women. They have valuable things to teach us. I want to have faith like Hannah, and be strong like Lydia, and fearless like Rahab. I want to be blessed like Sarah, and obedient like Ruth. And I also want to learn from the women like Delilah and Potiphar's wife. And learn to protect myself from Bathsheba's story. I want to learn to trust God from the distrust of the wife of Job. And remember to put God first from the story of Gomer. But most of all, I want to be a willing servant like Rebekah.

I read this quote from a website about Rebekah, it said, "The godliness of Rebekah is what opened the door to her destiny. She was not complaining of her situation, but rather allowed the love of God to shape her life." She was an answer to prayer! She wasn't complaining about her lot in life, she was living in the knowledge that she was created for a greater purpose than anything she had imagined for herself. Isn't that amazing?? I want to be like that!!!

I want to strive every day to become more like the wonderful women of the Bible. The way I see it, if God put them into the Bible, there's a good chance they are there for a pretty good reason!

Who is your favorite Bible character?

Divine Interruptions

Have you ever been walking through life just fine and then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, your life is interrupted and flipped upside down? I used to think that these were just big annoyances that got in my way and were to be moved through as quickly as possible, but I don't think that anymore. I am recognizing more and more in my own life that these interruptions are actually divine interruptions meant to make me pause and learn some things.

My life has been full of these divine interruptions lately, from my sister and 2 children moving back in with me and my parents, to a feeling of desertion from many of my friends, to letting go of a dream that I have held onto for so long. These interruptions have threatened to consume me and defeat me. But God is a gracious teacher. He hasn't let me quit yet. Just when I think I can't go another day in the chaos and I just want to hide under the covers all day, He brings me a reminder or some kind of blessing that rejuvenates my spirit and I remember that it will get better. It has to, because God would not bring me to this place to leave me here. He wouldn't be glorified in a broken mess of a person by dropping them off on the side of the road and leaving them for dead! He is glorified when we can show the world where we have been and where He has taken us from there!

I was thinking about a message I heard at the beginning of the year about divine interruptions by Beth Moore at the Passion Conference in Atlanta, Georgia. She spoke about the woman who had an issue of blood who touched Jesus' clothes and was healed immediately.

Here is the whole story from Luke 8:

Jesus heals two women

⁴¹ A man named Jairus, who was a synagogue leader, came and fell at Jesus’ feet. He pleaded with Jesus to come to his house ⁴² because his only daughter, a twelve-year-old, was dying. As Jesus moved forward, he faced smothering crowds. ⁴³ A woman was there who had been bleeding for twelve years. She had spent her entire livelihood on doctors, but no one could heal her. ⁴⁴ She came up behind him and touched the hem of his clothes, and at once her bleeding stopped. ⁴⁵ “Who touched me?” Jesus asked. When everyone denied it, Peter said, “Master, the crowds are surrounding you and pressing in on you!” ⁴⁶ But Jesus said, “Someone touched me. I know that power has gone out from me.” ⁴⁷ When the woman saw that she couldn’t escape notice, she came trembling and fell before Jesus. In front of everyone, she explained why she had touched him and how she had been immediately healed. ⁴⁸ “Daughter, your faith has healed you,” Jesus said. “Go in peace.” ⁴⁹ While Jesus was still speaking, someone came from the synagogue leader’s house, saying to Jairus, “Your daughter has died. Don’t bother the teacher any longer.” ⁵⁰ When Jesus heard this, he responded, “Don’t be afraid; just keep trusting, and she will be healed.” ⁵¹ When he came to the house, he didn’t allow anyone to enter with him except Peter, John, and James, and the child’s father and mother. ⁵² They were all crying and mourning for her, but Jesus said, “Don’t cry. She isn’t dead. She’s only sleeping.” ⁵³ They laughed at him because they knew she was dead. ⁵⁴ Taking her hand, Jesus called out, “Child, get up.” ⁵⁵ Her life returned and she got up at once. He directed them to give her something to eat. ⁵⁶ Her parents were beside themselves with joy, but he ordered them to tell no one what had happened. 

This was a Divine Interruption. Do you see it? Jesus was on his way to heal a little girl when this woman pushed her way through the crowd to touch his clothes. What's crazy to me is that Jesus FELT her touch, out of the many people that were surrounding him. This tells me that He cares about our concerns and He wants to address them. He didn't just feel the power go out from Him, He stopped and took the time to call out to the woman and bless her. That is a personal God who loves His people if I ever saw one! I believe He stopped for another reason as well. He didn't want to just care for her, He wanted to acknowledge her faith to the crowd surrounding them so they would believe as well.


Then Jesus turns His attention back to what He was on His way to do. But word comes that the little girl has died so Jesus is not needed anymore. This could have been a bad situation for the woman with the blood issue. The crowd could have easily turned on her and blamed her for interrupting Jesus on his way to save the life of a little girl. But Jesus wouldn't let that happen. Jesus can raise people from the dead, don't forget! This proves that the divine interruptions will interrupt our lives, but He won't allow them to change what He is already working toward. 


The interruptions in my life have come at a key time, and I can recognize that now. I am fast approaching a turning point in life when I will need the skills that this interruption has taught me. I have no idea what that turning point is, but I know that it isn't going to be easy. I have been learning patience and gentleness and love. Those are not things that are the most necessary qualities when facing a cake walk! Those are qualities that you need when you are walking into a struggle that will be so worth it!


What is your DIVINE INTERRUPTION? Are you learning from it or fighting it? 

Growing pains

God has a funny way of teaching. He doesn't do things the way that I would expect most of the time. Sometime that is very stressful for me. I don't want to be taught things and forced to grow, but God continues to stretch and teach me the things that will prepare me to face whatever is coming my way up the path.
Recently my sister went through a divorce and that has resulted in some growing pains for most of my family. She moved back in with us until she can find a house. Not to mention the fact that she brought along 2 very active kiddos with her that only add to the stress and tension that is rising in my household. This morning was yet another strike of pain in my growing process. I am used to getting up and getting in the shower at my convenience, but with 4 adults and 2 children in the house now that doesn't work as well. I woke up late this morning and went upstairs to get in the shower. (Did I mention my sister got my room in the deal and I am sleeping on a mattress on a pull out couch bed frame in the family room?) Alicia was in the shower when I got up there. I was running late and really needed to take a shower, and knowing my sister it was bound to be a ridiculous amount of time before she was done.
I wanted to be mean and tell her to hurry up and get her butt out of MY shower. I wanted to cry out of my sleepy frustration. I wanted to run away from home. But I didn't do any of those things. I laid down on my parents' bed, with my towel as a pillow, and tried to just enjoy the extra few minutes of quiet in my morning. This was just a small interruption. What am I going to do when the big interruptions start? I know they are coming, I just don't know when or how. But I also know why. God is teaching me patience in this crazy situation.

What is God trying to teach you? Maybe it is patience too. Or maybe forgiveness, love, wisdom, joy, peace, faithfulness, or self-control. How are you doing? Are you allowing God to pull and twist you in order to make you the person that He intended you to be or are the growing pains too much for you and? Have you taken heart or given up? 


{{{{Please pray for my family while God is teaching us these painful things. Pray that we learn patience in gracious ways and we will take it in stride and not in strife. Also please pray that Alicia would find a house quickly. She is putting in an offer on one in Waterford and it could mean good things and lots of space. Pray for patience and understanding within the family.}}}}

Steps to change the world

Have you ever come to a place in life where you have only 2 options: walk away or make a change? I am at one of those forks in the road right now and it is not an easy place to be. A big part of me wants nothing more than to walk away and not look back, but I feel like God keeps showing me that is not His desire for me. I have been trying to walk away, even run away at times, but it's just not working! Something just keeps pulling me back to where I don't really want to be. I have no other option but to recognize that it must be a divine intervention in the path of my life. Sometimes God interrupts a life to direct it back to His path when we have strayed.

There is a famous quote that says "Be the change you wish to see in the world" and I have to agree. If you see something that is wrong, don't sit around and complain about it, do something about it!

This is where I'm stuck: what now?
I've made up my mind to change, but how? Where do I start? What can I do to change something that is so much bigger than myself?

This is what I have so far:
• Start small
     No one can change the entire world at one time. Start by changing the things you have control over first, then work from there. Changing one person will eventually spread and grow and begin a revolution. Think dominoes!
• Realize that you have to change yourself before you can hope to change others
     No one is going to take you seriously until you become a role model of change
• Understand that you might ruffle some feathers along the way
     As long as you are going about things in a godly way it will eventually turn around. Don't take things too personally
• Pray
     Pray that God will teach you and guide you and speak through you in all situations, and that He will open doors and bring change in His timing. He is faithful in all things.
• Settle old issues
     It is like trying to roll uphill if you try to change things before resolving things in the past
• Read God's words
     We cannot bring change for God when we don't know what He has to say
• Do everything in humility and love
     The Bible says that if we lack love we are like a resounding gong or smashing symbols. No one listens when they feel threatened or put down.

We are called to wait... unfortunately.

As I have expressed before, I hate waiting more than almost anything else in my world! Through some searching, I found the following verses that remind me (sometimes nicely and other times with a slap in the face that I need) that I have to wait for His plan and trust that He knows what is best, putting my hope in Him.

Psalm 27:14 "Wait for the Lord; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord."

Psalm 37:9 "For evildoers will be cut off, but those who wait for the Lord, they will inherit the land."

Isaiah 30:18 "Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!"

Isaiah 51:5 "My righteousness is near, My salvation has gone forth, and my arms will judge the people; the coastlands will wait for Me, and for My arm they will wait expectantly."

 Isaiah 12:2 “Behold, God is my salvation, I will trust and not be afraid; For the LORD GOD is my strength and song, And He has become my salvation.”

Psalm 62:5 "My soul, wait in silence for God only, For my hope is from Him."

Psalm 33:20 "Our soul waits for the LORD; He is our help and our shield."

Mark 15:43 "Joseph of Arimathea came, a prominent member of the Council, who himself was waiting for the kingdom of God; and he gathered up courage and went in before Pilate, and asked for the body of Jesus."

Acts 24:15 "having a hope in God, which these men cherish themselves, that there shall certainly be a resurrection of both the righteous and the wicked."

Titus 2:13 "looking for the blessed hope and the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Christ Jesus,"

Jude 1:21 "keep yourselves in the love of God, waiting anxiously for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to eternal life."

Romans 8:19 "For the anxious longing of the creation waits eagerly for the revealing of the sons of God."

1 Corinthians 1:7 "so that you are not lacking in any gift, awaiting eagerly the revelation of our Lord Jesus Christ,"

Psalm 130:5-6 ⁵ "I wait for the LORD, my soul does wait, And in His word do I hope. ⁶ My soul waits for the Lord more than the watchmen for the morning; Indeed, more than the watchmen for the morning." 

Psalm 52:8-9 "But as for me, I am like a green olive tree in the house of God; I trust in the lovingkindness of God forever and ever. I will give You thanks forever, because You have done it, And I will wait on Your name, for it is good, in the presence of Your godly ones."

Psalm 62:1-12 "My soul waits in silence for God only; From Him is my salvation. ² He only is my rock and my salvation, My stronghold; I shall not be greatly shaken."

Psalm 37:7-9 "Rest in the LORD and wait patiently for Him; Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way, Because of the man who carries out wicked schemes. Cease from anger and forsake wrath; Do not fret; it leads only to evildoing. For evildoers will be cut off, But those who wait for the LORD, they will inherit the land."

Lamentations 3:25 "The LORD is good to those who wait for Him, To the person who seeks Him." 

So take heart and know that waiting on the Lord is the best option you have!

Sometimes we are the sowers and sometimes we are the harvesters

Last night at my church's youth group, the youth leader wrapped up his message with an alter call of sorts. He asked that anyone who wanted to know Jesus would come forward so they could pray together. I was slightly amazed at the number of kids that went forward, but as kids were continuing to go forward I began to wonder if they were serious or if they were doing it because of what others thought of them or because that's what they thought they were supposed to do. Looking around at the kids that were left seated it was a mix of church kids that are in service every week with their parents and the anti-conformist kids that only come every week to play basketball.

Talking to a friend and fellow youth leader after, he expressed his shared concern that the kids may not have had the right motives for going forward.

While it may have been a bit frustrating to watch, it made me think back to a principle that I learned in college ministry. I remember the Greek Intervarsity staff worker telling me that we may not get to see the true harvest, but we may be planting a seed that will bloom later in life their lives.

I have seen this echoed so many times in my short life. I have seen sorority sisters come to Christ, a Bible study that I struggled to get started grow and flourish after I graduated, junior high students that I mentored joining the leadership team in their high school years, friends that I loved through their sin and foolishness who are now married to good godly men and serving God together. It has been such a blessing to realize my small part in God's huge plan in the lives of  people around me.

In Galatians 6:7-10 the principle of sowing and reaping is explained:

⁷ Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. ⁸ Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. ⁹ Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. ¹⁰ Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.

Verse 9 especially gives me hope. "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." If we continue to do what we are supposed to be doing and do not give up when it gets hard, we will reap a harvest. God is not promising that we will get to win that certain person to Christ that we have been pouring into for so long, but He promises that we will reap "a" harvest, not necessarily "the" harvest we expect.

Is there someone in your life that you have planted the seed in them and seen someone else reap the harvest? Are you rejoicing in that or feeling bad for yourself for not being a part of the end result?

Resolutions

Top ten New Year's resolutions of Americans:

1. Spend more time with family and friends

2. Get fit

3. Lose weight

4. Quit smoking

5. Enjoy life more

6. Quit drinking

7. Get out of debt

8. Learn something new

9. Help others

10. Get organized

********************************

My top ten New Year's resolutions:

1.Finish writing the book I started a couple years ago

2. Let go of things I cannot change and give them to God

3. Forgive easily

4. Find a way to serve God better each day

5. Save more money

6. Finish as many things as I start

7. Make new friends

8. Strive to make people feel welcome and cared for

9. Get organized

10. Get healthy

What about you?

Do you make resolutions? If so, what are your New Year's resolutions? Have you made them and kept them in the past?

God's will can lead to inaction

I read a quote in Francis Chan's book Forgotten God recently that said "It's safer to commit to following Him someday instead of this day" His point is this: when we say we are looking for God's will for our lives we are less likely to act on things today.

I know in my own life I have acted selfishly in this area and thought to myself, "I don't know if this is God's will for my life so I am not going to do _____ (insert any number of things)" What is to say that I wasn't being asked to do that one thing that day?

We think long term when it comes to God's will, but what about today? Isn't today part of His will too? If it wasn't, would we be here?

I had a brush with this reality just the other day. I was sitting in church and out of the corner of my eye I saw a guy that I used to know and haven't seen in a very long time. I have heard that he has gone through some rough times in life already, even in his short 20 some years. And there I was about to burst into tears over him. Something was stirring in my heart and I felt like I was supposed to talk to him. I all but chased him out into the lobby, but he was already gone by the time I got there. I have been praying for him every day since. I have no idea why this struck me in that moment, but that doesn't matter.

Here is my question: Is he a large part of God's overall will for my life? Probably not. Would it have been wrong for me to ignore that overwhelming call to action? Absolutely.

Lately I have been trying to listen to the things God whispers into my heart and act on them. It is not easy, but so far has proven worth it.

My question for you is this: What is God calling you to do today that you are ignoring? What are you going to do about it?