Impact

As some of you know, I live with my sister and her two kids. I love my niece and nephew so much and I have really enjoyed living with them the past few months. I wake to the sound of my nephew's feet hitting the floor (literally since his bed is directly above mine) and many nights I get to tuck them in and kiss them good night. It is truly a blessing to be sent out to work with a hug and a kiss from two little ones that love me so much!

These kids are as different as can be. My niece, 7, is loud from the time she wakes up until the time she falls asleep, she has her share of the selfishness of childhood, she is passionate about the things she believes in and determined to live life her way. She is also stubborn like her aunt and creative in everything. She holds a soft spot in my heart because we are kindred spirits. There have been many times when she will be acting up and my mom will look at me, smile, and say "That reminds me of someone else I know." We butt heads because we are both determined to have our way in everything and I love her for it!

And then there is my nephew, 4, who is the most passive, go-with-the-flow kid I know. He is sweet and caring and would do anything for anyone. He also has a bit of a stubborn streak to him and I love it when he plants his feet, crosses his arms and refuses to do something! This happens so rarely that it really is funny when it happens. He was the first boy in my life to capture my heart and when another boy comes along and wants to marry me, he will have a hard time taking this little man's place!

Sometimes I don't think they listen to what I say, but then I hear things that make me realize how much they really do pick up on. They know my favorite candy is smarties. They know that when I'm leaving the house I'm either going to hang out with one particular friend or I'm heading to church. And they know that I am going to love some kids in Africa.

They spent some time with Santa and Mrs. Claus the other day. Santa asked if they had any questions and my niece said "What about the kids in Africa?" Santa looked at their mom confused, likely wondering how a little girl in suburban Michigan would know anything about kids in Africa. That's my girl! She is starting to think beyond herself and her Christmas list. She may not always think about others first, but she knows that her "Yaya" thinks it's important so it must be!

What I learned from a little boy's lunch

This week I had a meeting with the ladies that are on my team for the mission trip to Durban, South Africa. We went over some fund raising information, our time line for meeting financial support goals, and got more information about what we will be doing with our time in that country. Paperwork was passed out, ideas were batted back and forth and responsibilities were volunteered for. All in all it was a productive meeting! Some of that paperwork was a list of how much money we have each received in donations. I'll be honest, I knew how much had been donated already on my behalf, but a little part of me was hoping that God had worked some serious miracles and that there would be a lot more money out of no where! I realize how silly that sounds, but God can do big things and I strongly believe that! But alas, the expected amount was all that was written on my paper.

I'll admit I was not surprised, but a little bummed. I called my mom to talk it through and get that good motherly wisdom that moms apparently inherit when babies grow up, and which I hope I end up with as well someday down the line. Her words of encouragement were simple but so true: "Trust God". Serious wisdom, I know!!

In my human brain I don't understand how God can take the small amount that I have and turn it into the much larger amount that I will need. How can He possibly turn $50 into $2,500 in 2 months? I like things to be logical and easily understood. I like to know how things work and what it will take to make them happen. I'm not very good at this whole faith thing sometimes. Then I let myself believe that my faith must not be solid enough for God to come through and give me a miracle. That notion terrifies me, but I know that it is not true.

While I was talking to my mom about my big dilemma I was reminded of a story in the Bible when Jesus did something huge with something tiny, even when everyone, including his closest friends (the disciples), had little faith.

The story is found in Matthew 14
Please read it on your own, I'm a big proponent of turning the pages of a Bible on your own, but I will give you the run down of it here:
A crowd has gathered to follow Jesus and listen to him teach and perform miracles. It started to get late and the disciples asked Jesus to send the crowd away so they could go buy food in the local villages because they couldn't provide food for them there. There happens to be a little boy among the people (God knew he was there for a reason) who has a lunch with him of 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish to eat. Jesus brings the little boy up, takes his lunch, prays, and distributes the food among the disciples to disperse to the crowd.

I bet they were skeptical. I can imagine the disciples thinking, "There are well over 5,000 people in this crowd and we have 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish. Clearly this will not be enough food." I can feel their disbelief, because I have felt it in my own life so clearly, especially the last few days. I have thought "Maybe God doesn't want me to go. Maybe the funds won't come in. I can't even imagine Him being able to make $50 into $2,500 in 2 months."

The best part is the end of the story. Jesus did come through in huge ways. The text says that there were "5,000 men, besides women and children." Let's do a little math. (Mind you I hate math, so it will be simple math!) There are 5,000 men. Let's say for examples sake that every man was married and brought his wife along with him to see Jesus. So that's 10,000 people. Then if each couple had 1 child with them that's 15,000 mouths to feed. But it seems like there were probably quite a few more children in the crowd than that given family sizes in that day. So for arguments sake, let's round up to 20,000 hungry bellies in the crowd. Here's the best part. They ALL ate until they were FULL!! And there were LEFTOVERS!

The moment that I remembered this story I felt God whispering into my heart "If I can feed thousands of people from a little boy's lunch, I can certainly pay for your trip from a $50 donation that was given in faith. He quieted my fears and gave me a little more faith. He can do great things! He can do things that my human brain cannot ever come close to understanding or explaining away with even the best logic. He is Provider. He is Father. He is all that I need. He is all that you need.

God is good, even when I am struggling

Why does it seem like when you set out to do something important you are faced with so many set backs?

I think there are two reasons:
1. The devil knows that you are about to do something amazing and doesn't want you to succeed
2. God is teaching you something

I decided a few weeks ago that I was going to South Africa. I was so pumped! I was ready to conquer the world! I was ready to make a real life impact for the kingdom of God! I was ready to jump on the plane the next day. I wasn't worried about the fact that it's Africa. I didn't mind that it was so far in advance and I have no idea what my life will look like then. And I believed without a doubt that the funding would come in no problem. And then reality set in.

I was shocked when I got my first rejection. I know this is part of the game, but it still stung. But that was nothing compared to the defeat that I have felt in the last few days.

There are so many reasons why I feel this way that I won't get into here, but the basis is that I have allowed my emotions to control my thoughts. And when my emotions control my thoughts, I begin to believe that GOd won't come through. My heart doesn't want to exert the effort to have faith.

Please pray for my unbelief. It is not honoring to God and is really messing with me. I know in my head that if God intends for me to go He will make a way. There is nothing that can stand in the way of His plan. And that He loves me and wants good things for me. But there is a foot long gap between my head and my heart. So now the challenge is to make my heart remember and feel it.

It's frustrating, but even when I am struggling to believe, God does not change. He is still the Lord God Almighty, even when I have doubts. I can neither add nor subtract from the sovereignty of God.

Necklaces for Durban

Have you ever seen a tutorial for how to make beads out of recycled paper? I saw one on Pinterest that looked really cool as a finished product, but the process seemed long and tedious. I wanted a necklace made of recycled paper beads, but I don't have the patience to make my own!

If you are like me, I have something great to show you!

These are necklaces that are made by the women from Durban, South Africa in squatter camps that we will be going to work with. All of the beads are hand made out of recycled paper. I am helping to sell these to raise money for the mission trip.

They are $10 each. If you are in the Clarkston, MI area and would like one please let me know!

The money not only helps me and the other women that are going on the trip, but the money will go to help the women in Durban. This is their livelihood. This is how they feed their families.

So grateful

Here is more information about my trip, what we will be doing while there, and some specifics of how to support me if you feel so led. As usual, no pressure. I just want to give those who are interested the ability to do so. 

As you may have heard, Durban, South Africa has one of the highest numbers of AIDS cases in the world; it’s a place where more than 35 people die of AIDS every hour. This horrific epidemic leaves behind 3 to 6 million orphans. Can you envision a land where one in every five children is HIV positive? We are making the trip to Key of Hope, an organization that is working in Durban giving the children of this epidemic hope, by spreading the Gospel and providing food, medicine, and education for the underprivileged.

The date of the trip is July 25th through August 3rd, 2013, at an approximate cost of $4000. I am personally excited about the opportunity to serve and to minister and would be thrilled if you would partner with me. You will receive regular updates and pictures of all that God accomplishes before, during and after the trip.

If you are unable to give financially, remember your prayers are equally as important as I
begin to plan my trip with the team. I am confident that if it is the Lord’s will that I make this trip; then He will provide a way.

While in South Africa, I will have the opportunity to:

• Work in squatter camps bringing the life changing love of God through Gospel teaching, music and sports programs
• Build daycare shelters in the camps giving the children a safe environment as they receive the resources and training through Key of Hope
• Be changed myself as we spend time ministering to children that have much less than myself

If you are interested in helping, please send in your check payable to The River Church, 8393
East Holly Rd. Holly, MI. 48442 (Please note “Durban” along with my name "Ashley Young" in the
memo line).

Thank you all so much for even reading this blog. I understand that money is tight for many people and being asked to give can be a burden. All I ask is that you consider it. If you cannot give, I completely understand! Just your prayers and encouragement are greatly appreciated.

A day we will never forget

Eleven years ago today everyone who is of a certain age could tell you exactly where they were and what they were feeling. September 11 will always be remembered, like the attack on Pearl Harbor, as a day when America was caught off guard by tragedy.

I was in 8th grade. I had never heard of the Twin Towers before that day. It was also picture day at school. I went to the office to call my mom and heard the secretaries talking about what had happened. I was confused. When the students were told about what had happened, there were mixed feelings. Though many of us didn't know what the Towers were, somehow we knew that this meant something big for our country. We listened to radio coverage of the aftermath. Listened as people escaped the buildings. I remember women screaming, babies crying, and a sound of mass chaos. One of my friends started crying. Her older brother had just enlisted in the Marine Corp. Though she knew he would be safe for now while he went through basic training, she also knew that eventually he would undoubtedly be sent to war.

I never thought that I would meet anyone who was in the building when it happened. I like in Michigan and had no ties to New York to speak of.

When our young adult group took a mission trip to the Bowery Mission in New York I was looking forward to visiting Ground Zero. It was still under construction when I was there, but through the fence you could see progress. I also remember a church that sits just across the road from the site that had been there for many many years. The church had sat untouched by the tragedy. Through the explosions and collapse of the buildings the church remained unharmed. It was amazing to see.

When we got back to the mission that evening, my friend and I were talking about our visit to the site with some of the men working with us in the kitchen. I will never forget, one man had a strange look on his face as we talked about the visit. Later, he came up to me and said "I was in one of the buildings that day." He had been in the basement of one of the towers when the first plane hit. He told me how he had run out of the building as fast as possible, but ran back in the help other people get out safely. I stood there in awe of his courage.

That trip changed my life in so many ways. My opinions toward those living on the street changed forever. And that is when my heart broke for those who have experienced terrible things and press on.

Please pray for the men and women who will be served by the Bowery Mission in New York City today. And also that God continues to provide so they can continue to serve the community 3 square meals a day.

I don't like math!

Math was never my favorite subject. I barely passed it in high school. Had to take it more than once in college. And avoid doing mental math as much as possible. I have a friend who loves math, and I just don't understand the appeal!

The same is true when it comes to raising money for a mission trip.

My first financial deadline for the trip is January 15. I have to have $2,500 by then. Considering that it is only September, that deadline didn't really scare me too much. January seems so far away. By then we will have trick or treated, stuffed ourselves on turkey, celebrated my 25th birthday, celebrated the birth of Jesus, will ring in a new year, and I will have been reunited with a great friend in the south! There seems to be so much time.

And then my sister did the math for me... "that means you need $500 a month if you start right now." Isn't she so helpful... $2,500 five months from now sounds a lot more doable than $500 a month starting now. That number scares me! I know that I have a God who is a provider. I know that he will come through some how. But my finite, human brain cannot fathom that working out.

Please know that this post was not meant to guilt anyone into donating money to my trip. If you feel, after much prayer and consideration, that God is telling you to do that I would be so grateful. However, this post was only meant to document my humanity in contrast to God's sovereignty in all things.

So all I will ask is that you pray. Pray that God will come through and be everything that he promises to be. Pray that the people who are meant to give will listen to God speaking in their life and be obedient. Pray that I would find peace in knowing that the Creator of the entire universe has me in the palm of his hand.

Freaking out a little!

                                         This is where I am going to be!

Why is it that you can be so excited about something one day and then the next day have such doubts? It's like an extreme case of shopper's remorse or something. There is something about sleeping on a decision that can change your perspective.

On Wednesday I was so pumped about going to South Africa. I was thinking about how awesome it will be to play with orphans and help build daycare centers for them to be able to go and learn about Jesus in a safe atmosphere. I couldn't wait to fast forward to July and experience stepping off the plane in Durban, South Africa. Setting my foot on a new continent. I was longing for that big adventure with Jesus.

Today is Friday and I am freaking out! I am still excited to go, but I think the reality sunk in a bit more. There are so many things that are uncertain and out of my control. I'm nervous about raising enough money. I'm nervous about shots and passports and illness. I'm nervous that I somehow made the wrong decision.

There are so many things that I can't predict, and that scares me. I believe that God called me. And I know that if he called me then he will make a way for me to go. And whatever happens is in his hands and I can't do anything to help or hinder that aside from just hiding under the covers of my bed and refusing to accept it.

There is only one thing that I can do, pray. I can talk to the creator of the universe, the one who loves those orphans and widows and hurting people more than I can ever hope to. I can beg and plead for the Jesus that I have known since I was a little girl to become more real to me than he ever has been before. And he hears me. That is the wonderful part! Even when I am uncertain and struggling to string together words that make any sense, he hears me. He knows my heart. And you know what else is great? He knows what I will encounter in my journey to South Africa because he has gone before me. He knows the number of hairs on my head and the number of my days. He knows every thought that I will ever think and where my life will be in 5, 10, even 50 years! I don't have to worry about the financial aspect of things. As long as I am being faithful in the things that God has given into my care he will provide the rest.

Even just verbalizing these fears and anxieties has helped immensely to ease my nerves. I know that God's got this! 

Please be in prayer for our trip. I know it is still months away, but the more prayer the better, right? Pray for God to prepare the hearts of the team that is going that their motives would be pure and their faith would be strengthened. Pray for Dan and Rachel Smithers and their children living in Durban and started Key of Hope. Pray for all of our fund raising efforts. And most of all please pray that the people in the squatter villages we will be working with will come to know Jesus!

Check out the Key of Hope website at keyofhope.org if you're curious about what all this is about.


Here are some pictures from the website so you can get a glimpse of the things this ministry is already doing there!

I'm taking the plunge!

If you read my last post you know that I am praying about an opportunity to travel to Durban, South Africa. I never thought I would be the kind of person God would call to the mission field. I went on a short mission trip to NYC a couple years ago. I thought it would be a great idea since it was in the US and not as intimidating. I expected to feed the homeless on the streets of New York and hang out in the Big Apple for a few days. It was so much more than that! I watched God do some incredible things through listening to the stories of the men in the Bowery Mission's discipleship program and watching God provide food for the community. I heard stories of what God was up to and listened to testimonies from people whose lives had been changed in such radical ways that it could only have been by the grace of God.

One of my favorite stories I brought back from that trip was a huge example of God's provision. Certain days the mission goes out into the community and gives groceries to low-income families who would usually be choosing between paying the electricity bill and buying groceries for their family. We helped as the staff and students from the mission loaded up a huge box truck with food. At one point I looked around the store room that had been full of vegetables, fruits, breads, and other various foods and realized we were loading EVERYTHING into the truck.
I was a little concerned, after all the mission still had mouths to feed for lunch and dinner that night, not to mention the days after that. I didn't understand why they would take everything. So I asked! The student I asked just smiled and reassured me that there would be a truck waiting for us to unload when we got back.
We went out and gave away every last bit of that food, including hot stew and bread, and even walked through a nearby park and handed out sandwiches to somewhat skeptical but very appreciative people!
The whole time I was quietly wondering what they were going to manage to feed the people at the mission for dinner that night since we had cleaned them out. I remember riding back to the mission in the back of the truck and almost being crushed by empty crates that were once full of food.
When we pulled up in front of the mission, I climbed out of the truck and was met with an even bigger truck already in the process of unloading food into the mission. Not only did it replace what we had taken earlier, but it far exceeded what had been there before!
Growing up in a middle class family, I never wanted for anything. We always had food in the pantry and new clothes to wear. I had never known God as a provider before that trip. What a great way to see God provide in such a huge way!

I committed to going yesterday, and today am overwhelmed with a mixture of excitement and fear! I am expecting God to show up in huge ways in the course of preparing and going on this trip and I can't wait to tell you all the stories of his provision and unfailing love for me, the rest of the ladies on the trip, and the people of Durban, South Africa!
Please be praying for us in the months to come as we prepare, fund raise and learn to be the hands and feet of Jesus!

Stay tuned for more updates!