Having a blah day

I hope I am not proving how crazy I am by trying to be a little more transparent here. I know I'm nutty, but that's beside the point!

Lately I have been feeling very "blah". You know the feeling, nothing exciting happening in life, feeling tired and weighed down by the stress of the holidays, being broke because of the holidays, etc.

When I was a little girl December was such a magical time. My birthday started things off and then it ended with Christmas and New Years. Back when I believed in Santa and the reindeer and the whole nine yards things seemed so much more wonderful.

This year I officially feel old. I decided that in an attempt to keep the magic of Christmas alive for my niece and nephew I would also have a stuffed stocking waiting for me on Christmas morning. But my parents aren't there to fill it at our house, so I'll buy things to put in it myself. You know you're officially an adult when you have to fill your own stocking. It's a sad realization really. I'm sure that watching the kiddos react to the presents and stockings will inspire some kind of magical revitalization in me on Christmas morning, but for right now I'm struggling to be excited.

That is not the only thing that I'm struggling to get excited about though. I kind of knew that 25 would be a hard birthday. Though I am a year older, I am no nearer to what I thought life would be like at 25 years old. I'm not quite sure what I imagined life would be like, but this is not it!

And to top it all off, I am struggling to raise support for the trip to South Africa. I have less than 1 month before the first deadline and I am still so far away from the financial goal that must be reached in order to buy plane tickets. To say I am freaking out a little would be an understatement. I know that if I am meant to go, God will make a way. But I wonder if I am doing enough, if I'm supposed to be going since it's not looking like He's making a way, or if there is something else that is going on behind the scenes that I am not privy to.

So if you would pray for me I would greatly appreciate it. Here are some specifics:
1. I would need $2500 by Jan. 15 to buy plane tickets and solidify that I am going on the trip
2. My contentment in this weird time period of life while I am being asked to wait
3. My focus on the true reason for this Christmas season instead of looking at finances or impressions
4. For Key of Hope in Durban, South Africa, that they would be able to mend broken hearts and supply for the basic physical as well as spiritual and emotional needs of the children of Durban. (Rachel and Dan Smithers)

that little prayer thing

I overheard a worship leader say (sarcastically), "after the little prayer thing we do" we will go into the next song. Hearing it just thrown out there like that, without a sense of realization of the way it sounded, threw me for a loop. To this I sarcastically responded "Oh yeah, you know, that little prayer thing where we communicate with the Creator of the universe and He actually stops and listens. Yeah let's just breeze right by that and get back to playing music!"

But sadly this is how American church culture thinks. We focus more on the worship music than we do the One we worship. We plan big events and do what we can to get people there instead of praying that God would bring increase. We make strategies to get to know people so we can talk to them about Jesus instead of talking to the people that are already in our lives that need Him.

I'm not saying that we shouldn't be prepared or doing what we can, but the thing that we lack the most is prayerfully considering God and His faithfulness. We live in a world that does not feel a need for God like many 3rd world countries do. Majority of people have enough food, enough money to get us by, a home to shelter us from the weather, and we are free to attend church without the threat of persecution. Having all of this threatens to give us a false sense of security in our lives. We forget that God has called us to "pray without ceasing" 1 Thess. 5:17.

At the beginning of the Grammy's this year, host LL Cool J began the night with a short prayer to acknowledge the sudden passing of Whitney Houston. As the camera panned across the crowd of celebrities with heads bowed and eyes closed I was shocked. Even the crowd of celebrities that are not known for their faith in God understand the power of prayer, even just to commemorate a fallen comrade.

A friend's blog provided me with a great example for this. I have never really been able to accurately put words to this phenomenon of a Christian's prayer life falling by the wayside. She likened a lack of prayer to having the Queen of England over for tea. Would you just go about your daily routine and leave the queen and all her royalty sitting alone in your kitchen. Maybe say a few words as you fly past her with laundry filled arms on your way to the basement. The Queen of England is important, but she is nothing compared to the Creator of the universe. He trumps her by a long shot!

Have you spent some time with HIM today?

I may be a little cynical

In today's world it can be easy to think that marriage has become an outdated ritual, especially given that very few even take it seriously anymore. With the lack of biblical marriages and the ease of divorce in our country it is just as easy to get out of a marriage as it is to get into one. Celebrities don't help this problem either. I bet you can name at least 2 celebrities that got married and then got divorced in less than a year, some even less than 6 months. Here are a few that I came up with:

Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries' famous 72 day marriage.

Sinead O'Connor, 18 days.

Ali Landry and Mario Lopez, 2 weeks.

Britney Spears and Jason Allen Alexander only lasted 55 hours.

 What is happening? Marriage used to be one of the most stable things in our world. People got married young and stayed married until they died. I'm sure there are reasons why this has happened, some of which include arranged marriages, cultures that did not allow divorce, and fear of social rejection. But now divorce is commonplace. I would be willing to bet that in the very near future people will have no hope of celebrating a 50th anniversary, or even a 30th.

What are we teaching the generations to come about love and marriage? Are we teaching them that love perseveres about all odds? Or are we teaching them that when things get tough it is best to just give up? Do we stick it out when things are not fun, even when choosing to love someone seems impossible? Or are we teaching them that you can easily fall out of love with someone and there is nothing you can do about it?

Some people are harder to love than others, but should that stop us? Remember that each of us is hard to love for someone, but don't you want them to love you anyway, even when you don't deserve it or when it is hard?

Our world is making a mockery of marriage, I think it is time for those that follow Christ to reclaim marriage for what it was meant to be, and stop perpetrating this ungodly practice.