Have you ever been faced with a situation that you felt if God didn't come through you don't know what would happen? Maybe I'm the only one that prays that God will come through in a specific situation, wanting to believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that He would show up in a powerful way, but not really being sure of it. I know He is Mighty and Awesome and is able to do things that I could not even fathom in my tiny, finite, emotion-driven brain, but I am also human and believe the lies the devil tells me more often than I would like.
I laid in bed the other night sobbing harder than I have sobbed in a while. Things at home are crazy stressful right now and I have been begging God to come through. Because, if I get really honest right now, if He doesn't come through I don't know what I will do. This change is so connected to who I am and where I believe I am headed that if my bubble is burst I won't know what to do with myself.
I have seen God do big things in my life. I have been encouraged to dream big. But I also know that if I don't trust completely that He will come through I am like a wave tossed by the wind. But how do I trust with my entire being that He will come through in a situation that I have never had to trust Him for before. I have tried to pray and believe in the past, but it didn't happen. And while I can recognize that it was obviously not the right situation and that God has something so much better for me, it doesn't make it any easier. My irrational brain wants to say forget it, I'll handle this one on my own. But I know that is not what following Christ is about. I have to trust Him with everything or nothing. That's how it works.
The thing that I am praying and begging God for is something so near and dear to my heart. It is a bit crazy and some might think it's a bit out there, but I have to believe that God will come through.
I am claiming Psalm 37:4-5 "Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act."
He promises that when we do what He has called us to do He WILL act!! He WILL give us the desires of our hearts! That promise is everything. He proves to us that He is not just sitting in Heaven watching us suffer and punishing us for our sin, He wants to bless us! How incredible is it that the Creator of the Universe takes the time to bless us all individually in specific ways that will impact us the most.