Today is not my best day. There is no direct reason for the attitude of my day, but I feel a gray cloud settling in over my head. I have figured out that one of the reasons for my mood is a frustration with my job. I like my job, don't get me wrong, but it is not what I want to do for the rest of my life. I'm feeling a bit stuck right now. I want to go on adventures. I want to travel. I want to spend time with my friends and family without having to leave early to be in bed early. I want to experience things that are limited to me now.
Just when I think about actively looking for a different job, I think about the great people that I work with. I am so blessed to work in an environment that is encouraging and accommodating. There are few places that have this kind of mood in the office. Many of my friends have bosses that don't care about them, don't try to accommodate vacations, and don't care to get to know their employees. My bosses really do seem to care about everyone who works here. They always seem to take the time to chat with us at some point in the day. It would be really hard to leave here, not knowing what the climate will be in whatever place I land next.
I am so thankful for this job. It came at the perfect time. I was only without a job for 2 weeks before being hired here. I have seen God move in pretty big ways in my time here. But it seems like my heart isn't here right now. My heart wants to jump five steps ahead to the life that I only see in my dreams for now.
So now I wait and pray for God to either change my heart or my situation.