Monday, January 23, 2012

i'm no good at waiting

I hate waiting

I hate waiting, especially when I don't know what is about to happen or at least what the time line is. If I am supposed to go somewhere with someone and they have to push back the time at the last second I don't know how to fill that extra time.
I also hate waiting when I know things are going to change but I'm not sure exactly when. I am so tempted to sit around and do nothing in anticipation of that change. Since I moved home from college, I have not done anything to redecorate my bedroom to fit my taste now. I know that living in a small room at my parents' house is not forever or even for much longer, so why go through the trouble of decorating when I may not be there much longer? But when I don't decorate, it makes me less satisfied in the here and now. I see my bedroom as a sign that I am living more for the future than for the present. That isn't healthy either.
The same could be true about the rest of my life. I know that I won't be single forever, so I am tempted to just sit around and do nothing because it won't be a place that I am for a long period of time. But that's not what God asks of his servants. He asks us to be doing his will now AND hoping for the future, winning people to Christ WHILE looking ahead to his kingdom.

One of my favorite verses is Psalm 46:10: "He says, 'Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.'"
Something that I struggled with for a while with this verse is the difference between "being still" and "doing nothing". What I have learned is that "being still" is more mentally and emotionally and "doing nothing" is physically. You can (and should) be still while still doing something for the kingdom of God. But you cannot do nothing and be still at the same time.
Being still seems to be more of an attitude of serenity with God and his guiding in your life. I can rest in his will for me and still be doing something.
Another great verse that I recently discovered is Isaiah 25:1: "Lord, you are my God, I will exalt you and praise your name, for in perfect faithfulness you have done wonderful things, things planned long ago."
I don't have to worry about the waiting, because God has wonderful things planned. He has perfect faithfulness to bring them to pass because they were planned long ago for me.

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